oRDinArY mE??

2011-11-16T13:59:00.001Z

Ppplpp

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And another Quarter begins..

2011-06-16T13:45:00.005+01:00

this week i've been stucked in the IPM Meeting room for 4 straight days!i basically know every inch of that room already.i'm finally done with the FiT1 Training which was a total snooze fest.but i guess the whole certificate ceremony made it all worthwhile.rase mcm graduation all over again...oh n managed to build an oil rig out of junk..

so basically no work was done for 4 days...duduk denga tersengguk all day long.every chance i got,pegi lari check email for pending items.nasib baik la efficient cos i've finished most of my work last week(have to thank my training buddy.she taught me well)

today tesangkut lagi in that room cos preparation for Qtr End....jengjengjengggg!meaning late nites and weekends again.also daily dinner of mcd,pizzahut and occasional roti naan(if sape2 yg rajin nk drive klua from ou)
but the highlight of today's meeting was when my manager asked what's happened to the team?in other words,do we hate each other now?everyone mcm terdiam sekejap looking at each other.i know there are some issues going on.i do hear sumtimes their ramblings and arguements.personally,i dont have a problem with anyone.yes mmg ade yg screwed up my work recently,but i didnt take it personally.just went back to work the next day and think "its gonna be a good day.what happened yesterday can be fixed".need to stay positive if you're gonna spend most of your daytime with these ppl.

so when i looked at my bos' face,i feel sorry for him.he's tired of trying to close the gap.i know how hard he's tried to keep us close.what with all the bday celebs,wedding gifts,baby shower and the quarterly team bonding.fact!only my team does all these activities...sort of a work life balance.
anyway,got stuck at the office for an extra hour becos of this.everyone was asked if we weren't happy.as usual msian being msian,we tend to not speak our mind but rather play on the safe side.semua bagi reason busy and becos frustrated with system failure which relate to non frenly environment.in a way i guess its true.but i know for a fact there's a bigger issue.tapi tanaklah jadi batu api and get involved rite?i'm happy,EAF team is happy.that's all that matters. the rest of the team just have to work out their own issue.

at times when i do hear my team mate complain about another,i try to play the positive role.tapi tulah,there's only so much i can say.n it doesnt help if issue lama x settle,tambah lagi issue baru.on top of that,no responsibility to admit that u're wrong.so i guess if i'm in that situation,i'd probably go all red n explode.

like for me,this week has been pretty shitty as well.and i'm the type of person that if i'm upset about sumone or something,i'd prefer to have some away time from that person or put the issue on hold.i have other important things to think about so i'm not gonna let the negative vibe come near me.so i'll deal with that when i'm more in a calm mood.
but i think the most important thing is to keep work separate from personal.i see my 2 managers argue all the time,but at the end of the day,they keep it professional and left the argument at work.

i just hope tomorrow things will be different with the team.by next month,its gonna be a bigger team. how are we suppose to cope with more ppl if we cant even stand each other now?

when working life kicks in~

2011-06-08T13:37:00.003+01:00

helloo...suke kan buat prangai mcm ni..at one time mcm rajin tak hengat nk update this blog.then suddenly disappear without a trace.n now i'm back and mengade2 resume. actually the reason i opened this blog again was becos i was thinking to delete it all.but then when i read back all my entries (some pretty stupid&hilarious) i've decided to keep it open. some sort of sentimental value..

maybe a recap of the past few months(almost a year!) wud be good to spice things up. first of all i managed to get a job at Schlumberger(i think most ppl know already) and just recently i received my confirmation letter...fuuh!alhamdulillah...cant believe 6mths in the company just flew.not to say i had a blast all thru out.i mean,yes there were late nites (seperti yg diwar2kan) and ofcos the constant language barrier seeing that i'm handling Algeria&Tunisia n most recently Libya. i have to brush up on my French to keep up with my MAs....ofcos my MAs.we have a sort of a love hate rship.depending on the time of the month.some days i feel like flying over there&strangle them.but when they're nice,they really are nice.i'm actually super takut when they migrate over to KL.

one thing i'm grateful for in the company is becos i have an awesome team and the best boss in the hub.seems more like a fren rather than a manager to me.plenty of laughs which makes staying late at the office a little more bareable.

enough about work...i can go on&on...

my wkends are usually filled with movies n food hangout session.i do see the same jokers week after week.but just becos i enjoy their company.i hardly see my regular frens nowdays.nak jugak lepak dgn dubliners kan.

i've recently joined kickboxing class...mengade rite?just becos i need sumthing healthy on a weekly basis.if not my life is all about work work work.not to mention the constant munching session at my workstation.the first class was a total nightmare.just shows how unfit i am.suruh pumping temengah2 like nyawa2 ikan..ade jugak one point tu rase nak quit sbb tak larat nk buat situp..wanted to get up and walkout.but becos ade zuha it gave me a bit of strength to hold on just a little bit longer.

my personal life has its ups and down.not gonna go into detail.let that be a sacred thing for me.

since i've been back(cehh mcm baru sgt je balik),ade la pegi a few vacations.started off with Penang HRC.owhh heaven nya tempat itu.promise myself i will go back again when i can afford the rockstar suite.had the best time there.not to mention the wonderful food n cheap dvds.i was actually up there twice!see how much i love Penang? :)
the most recent vacation was Bali...went there straight after habis Qtr End.so just imagine how tired i was.mmg sgt best.i loved every moment of it.also maybe becos i was surrounded but great fun ppl.Bali was just so breathtaking.

this month pun Qtr End jugak...maybe shud plan another short vacay straight after closing.spa day would be perfect.

Speaking off...i'm so addicted with spa rite now.be it facial,massage,mani pedi....sumtimes i can just make an impromptu appointment and head to a spa.dulu segan la jugak kene ajak org temankn.but now tanpa segan silu.i dont need a fren to go for a spa-ing session.its my alone time(accompanied by a masseuse that is)

you see how i like to ramble?ni yg malas nk start blog.supposed to mandi and solat.but once i start dah susah nk stop.so better fullstop now....now!

ps.must make this a weekly blog.dont want to be too committed.

15.08.1984

2010-09-29T12:20:00.002+01:00

went to visit daddy today...after 5yrs.sorry it took me so long to come see u.just havent been home,n even when i did,it was too short of a break.promise to come visit u every chance i get from now on.
was kinda sad seeing nenek n mak ngah laying side by side with daddy.n just in front,abg lokman.how did all this happen within 5yrs of my absence?
as i stepped into arwah nenek's hse,i remember the last time i was there.it was when she passed away,and i had to hold my mum while we were both walking towards the house.1st time i saw my mum really cried her heart out.that old house really brought back a lot of memories.i knew how hard it was for mummy as it was for me.
the past week had been about lost.i had lost my favourite pet.my companion at times when i was alone.she had died to an unknown sickness.i could just kill the vet since they didnt help her.she meant everything to me.i had lost sumthin else as well but best kept to myself.
been keeping my head up.good thing i've got my best fren.he doesnt judge,just listen and offer good advice.not easy to find a friend like that.
not really in the mood for anything at the moment.just making up plans as i go.may be best to take it easy now..

2weeks gone by..

2010-08-18T14:55:00.003+01:00

so this would be a post long overdue.as i've mentioned before,i'll try to update as often as possible since i'm currently unemployed.
haven't had the time mainly cos the other half came back for a 2week break.wouldnt say it was a holiday per say for him since he had to get out of the country to do his green card (ke work permit?) and had to bring back the company's laptop to do work from home (rajin sgt lah kn buat keje)

anyways,the past 2weeks had been fullfilling for me. been busy going around kl with nazar.trying to cover as much places as we can...yela,both of us tak penah dating kt msia n both pun tatau the places to go. i had to get a gps cos we had no clue how to get from point A to point B.sesat tak sesat,we managed to cover KLCC,the curve,pavillion(a few times),area bukit bintang...n mane tah lagi..okla tue considering we only had such short time..

we even got the time to head down to JB for the weekend. went to see my old house in Jalan Bulat.brings back so many memories.JB pun dah maju skarang.not like 10-20yrs ago.

we spent a day in Singapore.supposedly nk pegi Universal Studios. but due to their Independence Day weekend, there were no tickets left.sedih sgt...was so looking forward to it.we ended up going to the Night Safari instead which was not disappointing at all. aku nie biasela excited pegi tempat2 cam parade,festivals and even the zoo! the stupid part was that i left my frehkin camera....bodoh tak bodoh la kn..our first roadtrip in msia,n aku tak bawak camera.good thing the Night Safari had their own photographer.tp mencekik darah jugak.1 photo=20Sing dollars...haihhh...nak kate professional,takdela cantik sgt quality gamba dia.asal ade je..

within the 2weeks both of us sempat la jugak jumpe frens yg dah balik for good.yg balik skali with me semua tak kerja lagi.so always free to hangout.yg dah keje tu cam liat jugak la nk jumpe cos they're only free at nite and weekends biase nye family/couples day masing2.

the last night before nazar balik tu sempat la bawak dia pegi Jalan Damai to meet my friend.haiyaaa....the amount of budak2 bawahan umur was so banyak!i didnt feel comfortable being surrounded by them.adela terase mcm dah matured (not tua) skit.
n bukan nk kate aku ni diva ke ape,but it was blahdee panas regardless of the slight rain.maybe sbb the burning arang from the shisha was really close.muka mcm nk cair je.i only stayed for a little while sbb nk introduce my fren to nazar.

the day he left,aku jadi mcm perempuan gile sekejap.tah kenape emotional sgt...bukannye dia pegi mane pun.dublin je..my home for the past 4+yrs.atleast i know whats over there.not foreign to me anymore...tapi like i said,mmg gile lah sekejap.on the way balik from his place dok nangis2 dlm keta.mamat tol pun tekejut tgk muka aku.ape kena tah minah nie nangis siang2 hari..haha..

good thing i have good frens to cheer me up.due to sedih sgt,i decided to do a little shopping.tak plan pun.konon nk klua from my sedih bubble lah n teman my fren sorang ni nk beli belah.end up aku yg ikut nafsu...note to self:never shop without a clear conscience.

AAANNNNIIIEEEEEWWWAAAAYYYYYEEEEEEE...........lets forget that embarrassing moment.turns out i was fine 2days after.awal2 je rasa mcm kehilangan skit (yah i know,CORNY!)
i'm back to my normal self now.takdela sedih2 sgt.thanking the gift of technology,hari2 we're keeping in touch.but timing difference can be a bitch.slowly trying to cope with it.nasib baik la tak keje lagi,kalau tak,hari2 pegi keje mcm zombie sbb bergayut punye pasal.

at the moment i'm a little frustrated with PV.heard that everyone else dah dpt they're boxes except for me.padahal we sent them on the same day.but still batang hidung driver kotak tu pun tak nampak lagi.i'm in need of my dvds!bulan puasa nie takde bende sgt nk buat except layan movies in the day time.

membebel punye membebel dah panjang sgt pulak post nie.like i said earlier,its way overdue.tu yg extra panjang nie..enough for now!

a week gone by

2010-07-27T14:43:00.004+01:00

big progress for me today.manage to drive to OU without any assistance...tipu skit,had to call sha before klua,but still i drove there alone.panic jugaklah at first sbb takut pegi tah mane2 tah kn.i'm not familiar with the roads here.byk sgt highway baru....duke lah,akleh lah...name nk pelik2 je.kawan2 suh beli satnav,tp its gonna be such a waste sbb that thing pn mahal gile.n i think by 1 or 2mths i should be able to get used to the roads again.

weekend haritu pegi tgk play.but i'm not gonna mention the title due to some sensitivity issues.tapi mmg dodgy lah.me n sha was laughing away at all the awkward moments.pegi pn sbb layankn kawan.dont get me wrong,i think it was quite interesting,tapi kalau nk tgk dgn mak ayah tu mmg takla.

at the moment i've become a part time driver to my nephews n niece.kene pickup from school everyday.i do enjoy it tho.borak2 with them about their day at school.its good that they still recognize me after all the years of being away from them.haritu masa pick up imran,the teacher thot i was gonna kidnap him sbb she didnt know me.imran pn is the kind of boy yg frenly dgn semua org.so takut lah he'll go up to a total stranger.

my jetlag is slowly wearing off...i think becos haritu ade dentist appointment at 11am,so mummy pagi2 dah bising2 suruh bgn.pegi dentist pn mcm zombie cos i felt like half awake n half dead. masa tgh tggu my turn,the tv was showing mis tres hermanes....hahaha....brings back memories masa kt ypm dulu.hari2 nk balik awal sbb nk catchup on the episode.well,not to say i go to class everyday,tp most days mmg camtu lah.cant believe they're actually showing it again.so pagi tadi pn i immediately turned on the tv sbb nk sambung tgk.its really addictive!

3more days before nazar comes back.i've been away from him for 11days now.kawan ckp i'm so lucky sbb baru kejap separated dah jumpe balik.skarang ofcourse lah...but he wont be coming back as often.hopefully again in november for his sister's wedding.

tomorow thot of going to midvalley,that is if i can find the way lah.tapi so far,i haven't sesat yet in kl.kene drive slow2 baca road sign. speaking of driving,i tell u its no surprise that there's always a major freak accident.msian drivers are absolutely psychotic! semua nk selit here selit there.aku pn takut nk drive!motorcyle tak payah nak cerita lah.bawak mcm tak sayang nyawa.gov should seriously improve the public transportation...byk sgt kereta.i wouldnt mind taking the train or bus.just as long as it gets me from point A to point B.n as long as dpt avoid all the roadbullies and mat rempits.

ayah's bday coming up this friday.going to have a family get together on sunday since everyone pn busy fri & sat.ayah pn not so well now.pagi tadi kene vertigo.kesian pulak kt dia.tu pn bole lagi nk pegi amik imran from school.ofcourse i didnt let him lah.so harini he stayed home the whole day.lepak2 garden with boscoe..

boscoe....i think he's ok with me now.dah tak terkam whenever he sees me.masa baru balik haritu,ayah chained him n told me to sit in front of him n borak.sesi suai kenal or sumthin like that...i mean,how do u exactly interact with dogs??i'm more of a cat person.so i sat in front of him lah...borak2 like an adult.mcm org gila pn ada.he just sat there staring at me.mesti dlm hati dia pn ckp aku gila ckp dgn binatang..
anyways,after a few conversations(more like "boscoe dah mkn?"or"boscoe nk play with ball"),he seems to warm up with me.bagus jugaklah cos when i come back late at night,he wont be barking away to kejut mummy n ayah.

iskk...sedar tak sedar,mcm panjang pulak this entry.have to keep it at minimal.oh well,i cant wait for this weekend.nk pegi dating in kl for the first time in 5yrs!better carik sumthing cute to wear :)

J.

Home for good!

2010-07-20T18:41:00.004+01:00

well harrllllooooooowww!!hahahaha.....segan pulak nk update this blog.totally forgot it existed.i think its been more than a year?busy sgt with grown up life...keje,sports,kwn2 dan lain lain...
but see,now that i'm unemployed(left my job at GOAL),and back home for good(yahh...serious shit!) i have all d time in d world.well,until i start a new job lah.

just arrived last saturday.alhamdulillah,i can cope with the weather.tu pn sbb hujan everyday.hujan rahmat org kate.tp kat dublin pn hari2 hujan...so no difference to me at all.

yg paling best is dpt jumpe family...plus the new additions...mia,alesya(technically tak jumpe lg,but going to).mummy cooks everyday since i'm back.dimanjakan for the time being..ape2 mintak semua dpt...anak last la katekn.mak sayang lebih..hehe..

since most of my frens semua dah keje,so lepak session only starts at 7pm n above.tp for the ones yg still unemployed,pagi ptg siang mlm always there...just a quick phone call.tp tak bole frequent lah...seeing that i'm not making any money at the moment.dah besar panjang ni segan skit nk mintak duit kt mummy.good thing i have savings in euro.so slamat la for the next couple of months.

anyways,i've decide to resume this blog sbb...well basically i'm still jetlagged.meaning i dont sleep till 6am.maybe bile dah fix my hours and life dah stable,sesi meng-update pn akan kurang.
i'll try to keep my personal stuff away as much as possible.lets face it,ppl can easily use it against u and kalau bende2 tak elok tu tak patut la advertise kt rakyat.

oh yaaa...me & nazar still going on(incase ade soalan2 cepumas such as "julie balik,then nazar cane?")...trying to give the long distance thingy a shot.worked out well for naqi n sara.dah nk kawin dah pn derang.not to say that i have plans for that...jgn pandai2 make conclusions.just go with the flow..tanak lah cite pasal rship sgt...kawan2 says i'm sweet...tah celah mane tah...tipu belaka.mayb once in awhile bole la nk jiwang2,tp takde la ibarat cinta mati.kalau x jadi buat malu ako je.

i'm gonna keep this entry short.nanti high expectation on the next one pulak.suam2 kuku sudah. but i do hope it'll be more frequent that before...adios!

J.

counting the days!

2009-04-06T13:34:00.003+01:00

only a few more days...hands shaking,heart pounding really fast,stomach grumbling(tak saba nk makan sedap)...i feel like time stops the closer i get to the day.

had a dream again.i left my handcarry at home...mum was screaming n yelling suh cepat balik...i rang the boy to go pack my luggage n hurry down to the airport...bodo tak bodo la kan??how would he know what to pack??hmm...come to think of it,he probably knows better than me..

am glad that this week is a short week.gives me an extra day for me to pack.well,really it gives him an extra day to help me pack.my job??merely pointing where everything is.he probably knows where everything is even better than me...so basically,my job is to sit tight n be quiet n once in awhile scream...YOUUUU!!!!!hahahaha...

had a nice weekend.went up to belfast.konon2 nak tgk bola,but had a different agenda.went to giant causeway the 2nd time.this time beli souvenior.masa muda2 dulu tak reti nak beli...
but i still love the place eventho its the 2nd visit.wind almost,well not almost,it actually blew me away...imagine kalau baby yg pegi,mesti dah sampai scotland...hehehe

15mins till lunch is over...as usual,org2 finance akan pegi berjalan sbb nak buang masa.its really pouring outside tapi sanggup jugak nak jalan...me?i prefer to sit in and mengembangkan perut.i've got less than a week to go fat.which means intensive eating.

back to work...or atleast pretend to :)

another update at last!

2009-03-24T21:03:00.003Z

yes i'm still alive. apparently my laptop has gone crazy with the new internet connection. warning!DO NOT use SMART TELECOM. mmg ngoks tahap dewa..

i haven't updated anything since new year.lets just say the start of the year was whacked (n i dont mean in a good way). but things seem to be moving pretty fast for me.it's already the end of march and i'll be goin home soon...woohoo!

workwise has been really hectic.i think i might have to split myself in two just to get by.not that i dont love doing what i do,just sumtimes i think its a bit much.i should be getting a raise!cant really complain much knowing what with the economic crisis.better be thankful i still have a job to go to.

the new place has been working out really well for me.friday nites are the best.4 girls(soon to be 3..sobsob),good food,hell of a laugh...what more could i ask for?i'm starting to feel thankful for what i have.cant demand for anything more.

been seeing a lot of changes with my life.think things differently,starting to take full responsilibility with no complaints(well not none,i still do whine a little bit).i've become a little bit of a housewife even.u know the kind that prefers to stay at home and watch the telly and cook and clean.i've had my fun...perhaps too much fun?

just had a birthday.i dread being reminded i'm that much closer to 30.can't i just be 16 again??and maybe by some miracle just stay that way.this year just means i've reached my cut off point (i'm not gonna mention what)

anyways,my hsemate back in cheras just had a baby.i told her i'm not gonna believe it till i see it for meself.she's probably just making all this stuff up.tah2 culik anak org seblah tu pastu saje nk bagi jeles kan??no way jose,ain't gonna believe it...in denial sgt2 nie...

so...my plans for my short hols back home...none of the shopping bullshit.i'm going to makan like there's no tomorrow.revenge for the past 2/3yrs that i haven't been home.dont be surprised if i'm come back here looking like mrs potato head.takpe...janji puas.sumpah tak saba...silap2 tak balik dublin...hehehe

me n 'my man' (cewahhh...cam macho sgt je) is getting on very well.i think we're at a stage where we can be absolutely comfortable with each other (does that mean even fart at each others' faces??)i just hope it lasts....tanak la citer all this mushy2 stuff....i'm just not that type of person.n i dont wanna jinx it either.just go with d flow.plus,i prefer not showing off all the good stuff that i have.let other ppl be the judge of that.

i've come to the point where i dont really care what others think, but more about what i know is right.call me selfish/self centred,but atleast i stll have a conscience.

that's it!till then...

Bid farewell to 2008

2008-12-31T09:18:00.003Z

this is it...last day of the year 2008(and still working).as i was walking from salthill to the office with my manager, we discussed on our new year's resolution. he plans to work out more and get married.as for me,i told him i dont think i'm gonna make any resolutions this year.never managed to keep any of them...except to travel more.

this year alone i went to madrid,london(yet again),ibiza,paris and amsterdam.i think thats fairly good.next month i'll be goin to florence,so something to look forward to.

i was supposed to go home this year,but because of some miscommunication,had to cancel it.but definately going home early next year(got my flight ticket already!)been dreaming about home more frequently now.this week alone,i dreamt bout my parents 2 nights in a row.and its only wednesday!i suppose it's a huge sign to tell me to go home.i really am looking forward to it.i've missed so much already.

speaking about missing so much, i've missed 1 of my classmate's wedding.saw their pictures posted at fb and just looking at all my frens,made me really miss home even more.congrats to Nuar&Serene..hope to see u soon, in February was it?

so tonite'S new year's eve party will be at the loft.thank god i live really close.no need to worry bout getting a cab home or anything.the streets will be empty and god knows how broke i am rite now!hence no shopping for the current sale :(

looking back, i have no regrets in the decisions i've made. if i had the chance to do it all over again, i would do it all the same.except maybe the studying part.but i must say,i've improved on attending classes.but dont get me wrong,i'm still gonna fail...hahaha!will try to do better the next term(yeah yeah...thats what we always say)

just a few more hours before the year ends..can't believe 1 year has gone by so quickly.and next year,i'll be a quarter of a century!woahh,seems pretty old ain't it?but age is nothing but a number.as long as i feel young and stupid,i'm good to go.

so toodles 2008,it's been great.thanks for having us!

Blogging from work

2008-12-29T13:27:00.002Z

so the year's almost over. i've had my fair share of rollercoaster ride.and i tell ya, it ain't easy being me. i think i've developed OCD this year. i go absolute mental whenever i think i forgot to swith off the iron, or the heater, or the way i make my bed...the little things that can make me go haywire.

apart from being busy handling the "not-so-new-job", i just moved in to this superb apartment with bebey.i'm loving every inch of the place.trying to make my room as grown up as possible.no more silly toys or rainbow-ish colours.i need to come home to a relaxing and peaceful place after a stressful day at work.

so just a few more days till the new year.still no plans to welcome 2009.only rumours of a party.trying to finish up the year at work...(yes i'm back in the office after the xmas hols).most ppl are still on holidays till after the new year.the train station was awfully quiet today and i ended up 15mins late since they had the weekend schedule.

its bad enough to be at work with such little to do,but even worst when i had an arguement that didnt end well.f*ck it..i've had enough too.

can't wait to finish off today and just go home and not think.i'm just sick of getting stuck in the same situation over and over again.

Reception cover

2008-10-17T12:40:00.004+01:00

am covering reception at the moment...ya allah,bosan gile!not to mention there r not many calls since its friday...its all quiet like a museum or sumthin....takpe2...sejam je.after this,i can go for lunch...yeay!!

so this whole week has been a little shitty for me...but i'm glad i've passed it...all good now.feels good to go back to normal.i'm also glad that i got my appetite back.i feel like i could eat a moose or sumthin!

anyway,tonite's gonna be the tablequiz.my manager expects the finance team to win....AGAIN!i really need to polish my entertainment skills.been watching e! for the past few days just to make sure i'm up-to-date on the celebs world.

'the boy' has been good.tho i did manage to screw things up a little bit,but we did patch things up again.cant afford to make the same mistake again.

i'm hoping this weekend will be a good one.the roomie has gone to Milan,so i'm pretty much gonna spend time with baby(the cicak freak),ana(my partner in crime) and schMelia(well,if she's not bz with her hubby,which is very unlikely...ehhehe)

hmmm....another 40mins....i think time stops at the reception.bosann nyeee!!!!who wants to make some international phone calls??heheheheh

on leave..

2008-10-14T10:10:00.003+01:00

took the day off work today.not feeling very well.my stomach is doing a 180 on me.its probably cos i havent had a good meal since...hmmmm....last wednesday nite?didnt have time to go out for lunch.got home from work last nite,starving!when i tried to eat,everything just came lashing out again.now i'm just too scared to eat.

feeling like a train wreck!head spins,stomach grumbles....i have no energy to get out of my bed.the rain helps me to relax.sooner or later i have to get up.still some leftovers from last nite,but just dont have the appetite to eat.my mind thinks of so many things.cant be taking any pills to help me sleep on an empty stomach.only thing that helps is water.

i really need to go back to sleep now....

Foolish Games

2008-10-09T22:20:00.000+01:00

You took your coat off and stood in the rain,
You're always crazy like that.
And I watched from my window,
Always felt I was outside looking in on you.
You're always the mysterious one with
Dark eyes and careless hair,
You were fashionably sensitive
But too cool to care.
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather.

Well in case you failed to notice,
In case you failed to see,
This is my heart bleeding before you,
This is me down on my knees, and...

These foolish games are tearing me apart,
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.
You're breaking my heart.
You're always brilliant in the morning,
Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee.
Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you.
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar.
You'd teach me of honest things,
Things that were daring, things that were clean.
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean.
I hid my soiled hands behind my back.
Somewhere along the line, I must've gone
Off track with you.

Well, excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else,
Somebody who gave a damn,
Somebody more like myself.

You took your coat off,
Stood in the rain,
You're always crazy like that.

broken

2008-10-03T20:26:00.004+01:00

how could a fren who lives a million miles away in the land down under knows he's taking me for granted?am i that transparent?how does she know something's not right with me?we barely even talk anymore.does she know me that well??yes,i know she's right,but y cant she talk to me about it?i've missed her so much but she chooses to keep herself occupied.yet still she can make my decisions.

things haven't been going so well.what with both my parents in the hospital for raya.my mum could barely speak when i called.its just awful.the only thing that gets me thru the day is my work.everything else is just going mental.i hate the feeling of wanting to speak out,but cant.i hate that sumtimes i get pist off at my work mate just cause i cant stand listening to her questions.it's not that i meant to be such a pain,it's just that i'm not having the best time in my life rite now.

i have to get rid of everything that's adding to my despair.i need to focus on my happiness.i need sumone i can trust.yes,i do have trust issues due to past experiances.trying to forget is even harder than to forgive.ever been been mentally,physically and emotionally abused?abso-fuckin-lutely!

see...i'm never one to talk.y would i wanna tell ppl about the skeletons in my closet?

my best bet?not to be alone.i've got a few tricks up my sleeves for a little 'happiness'.but all wont last long.just something to get me thru one day at a time.

i dont expect anyone to understand..i dont expect him to understand..just cause i'm not the one to talk.i'm not good at keeping other ppl's secrets,but i'm good at keeping mine.sumone who knows me well,wouldn't have to read this to know that i'm not okay.but that fren who lives a million miles away,who hasn't spoken to me or seen me in 2yrs,truly knows me...

My Day!

2008-09-22T14:23:00.003+01:00

so far today has been going oh-so-perfectly for me....went to the garda this morning to make myself legal again. i thought i'd take hours to get it done since i've heard so many ppl saying that they had to wait for 3/4 hours.but mine didnt.n everything went smooth sailing,no arguments or anything....

headed to the office after,5 mins after sitting down,got a call from reception 'hi julie,there's a package for u downstairs'
woohooo...my baju raya n biskut raya is finally here...was so excited to see all the cookies...tak saba nye nak buka puasa today...gonna eat em up like a cookie monster!dont think it's gonna last till raya next week :P

owh n not forgetting....am heading to paris tonite...was so excited since yesterday.went shopping with ana to get some goodies for the trip...hehe....could barely sleep last night...n it's only 2hours before i go home n head out to the airport.i'm so in the lovey dovey mood right now.i've been smiling since i got in the office today.

so like i said...today is my perfect day :)

i'm all grown up :)

2008-09-09T11:18:00.002+01:00

i'm not really sure how to begin this entry.it's just an opinion rather than a statement really..
well, just a thought...

i'm 24yrs old and i've gone a long way since my school years...all the different kinds of phases gone thru the teenage years and all the way thru college...and at 1 point,without realising it, i'm a grown up! i have a good job, responsiblities, able to make decisions, and also speak differently!

before, every statement had to hav a cursing word(feck this and feck dat)...it seemed cool at the time...but now i think it's just plain rude n disguisting (if sed at an improper time that is...there r exceptions!)

back then, i was very impatient. i'd easily lash out at anyone. guess that's y some ppl thinks i have a very 'garang' face.....hmm....
but now, i get all quiet and just listen to others' comments and constant babble.i just realised that if i say sumthing back, i'm just the same as them....'kampong'

and then there's the act of yelling or talking in a ver sly-ish way at sumone in order to put in some sense to that person...i used to LOVEEEE to do this...the best part is when there's other ppl around to laugh at it....gawd, was i a bitch!
now when i see other ppl do what i used to do,i'm just thinking where did all their high education gone to?its pathetic and immoral.it's as if they're uncivilised or sumthing.thank god i've outgrown that phase.
whats wrong with saying sumthing politely?do u suddenly lose your 'cool'??i think it's just pure irritating and annoying and the only thing you lose is your self respect.

so to those who hasnt grown out of this 'kampong-ish' phase...please do.there's no point showing the world that you're an angry person cos the only person that you're angry with,is yourself.u know the ad on tv 'if you behave like a piece of filth,that's how the world sees you', i totally agree 100%.

bye house :(

2008-07-13T19:48:00.002+01:00

the house is empty now.feels sad leaving this place i once called home.felt really hard packing up my stuff.this is the best place i've ever lived in.so many great memories.now its just nothing but space.waiting for someone new.
the housemates were mad fun.couldnt ask for better ones.now we're going separate ways.but hope to stay close like before.
sure as hell gonna miss my old roomie.its been great.its been a pleasure.hoping the roomie would miss me too.
new home,new rommie (not really new),new environment.things are gonna be so different.hoping for the best.hoping to have as much fun as it was at Gandon.hope to have as much laughs as i did before.hoping the bed would be as comfy as before.
time to move on.promised myself that this will be the last time i'll be moving.sick and tired of the hassle.
goodbye Gandon.thanks for letting us stay and made it our home for a year.

At last...an update :)

2008-07-01T21:49:00.004+01:00

its been 2mths since my last update.my new job has been taking up most of time but i'm loving every second of it.its the perfect place to work.plus,i get to help ppl from all across the world.definitely a bonus on my right side :)

on the left side just got a little heavier.reason?i just got back from ibiza.never have i been to a place so outrageously crazy.madness i tell ya!everyday is all party party party!water party,foam party,boat party...the ultimate vacation of a lifetime.not to mention the topless beach.got sick of seeing tits after awhile...hahaha...anyways,pictures mean a thousand words.thats y i choose not to post them yet.have to do a little bit of screening first *evil grin*

so back to reality.stepped back to dublin,got a terrible cold.damm the weather!i miss ibiza already.first day of work was a drag.was coughing away from the moment i stepped in,till the moment the last person leaves the door.am still continuing coughing as we speak.

update on the house moving?got a great apartment.just across the street.skip the hassle of travelling and moving around back and forth.thank god!i hate moving.i can just imagine how the house will look like once we've settled in.got the theme in mind for the bedroom.its gonna be spectacular.

checked my bank balance today...its the 1st day of the month and i'm almost broke.wonder where my money went.i've never been a big spender.plus i rarely shop.maybe sometimes.when i see something i really really really want.like those shades i saw last weekend.good thing i didnt buy it cos i wont be able to live for the rest of this month.there's always next paycheck.

was having a rough nite last nite.i could probably kill someone,but seeing it as i'm always the patient type of person,i'll just keep that for future blowouts.1 thing's for sure,somebody's gonna get smacked.maybe not today,could be tomorrow...we'll see.i like the guessing game.u're always begging to know more.

so,long story short,the past 2mths have been very fulfilling for me.i got a great job,made some new friends,went for a great vacation,got a good place to live.minus the 1 little setback.but i know that will pass.i'm very optimistic about it.i do have a word of advise..what goes around,comes around,BITCH!

I got it! I got it!

2008-04-04T12:21:00.002+01:00

just got back from the new company...got the contract in my hand :)) was so nervous this morning to meet the big ppl.i was a total blur.at lost for words...can u believe it?me,nothing to say?the 1 who always has something to say about everything is a complete blur?i must be really nervous n terrified to be at that state..
but i'm glad its over...aaaahhhh...legaaaa....

not so good news,i'm starting on 14th....yerghh!!which means i have another full week doing...ermm.. i dunno...NOTHING!?!?!gawd,i'm sick of it.i want to work dammit!n to think i blew of nice just cos i thought i'd be starting this coming monday....sangatla sedih n disappointed.i guess u lose some u gain some.cant have ur cake n eat it too rite?

i have another interview on tuesday...i know i know,i can be a bit greedy...knowing how many ppl without jobs out there screaming for an interview.i'm just going to polish my interview skills.i tend to talk too much that sumtimes make ppl a little uncomfortable...usually the interviewer is suppose to do that to u...hhahaha..need to practice to shut up more often :P so gonna give it a shot.

so since today is a good day for me,decided to treat myself for another java chip frap.yeah,yeah...i've treated myself 3 times already this week.what can i say...i'm totally hooked.just another reason for me to get another 1!

speaking of hooked,i have an absolute addiction to that ghost series.thanx to the porto girls.can hardly believe to see raz acting.its been ages since i saw him.well,he was always good at making character so its no surprise he's on tv now.but back then he was george more than raz.wonder what made him change back??anyways,i was at home all day tuesday from 9am watching it religiously and was done at about 8pm.felt like my head was gonna expload...but deffinately worth it!cant wait for the next 1.

been seeing some frens for the past couple of days.really needed that.rejuvenate myself,in other words...gossip la apa lagi??hahaha...i've been so stressed out since the weekend.been lashing out my anger on the roomie....so sorry...decided to see some frens whom i trully missed.just catching up while i'm still free.it helps to forget...

today's friday,which means i'm on duty to cook.i'm lost of ideas on what to cook anymore.i'd ask the roomie,but its always the same answer....suke hati la...if only there was an actual receipe called suke hati la,or ayam masak suke hati,or sup suke hati,my life would be so much simple!

its still early to think...few more hours before everyone comes home from work.its friday anyway,no rush...rather than pulling my brains out on what to cook,i'd rather watch some tv.i'll tear out my brain at about 5....adios!

untitled

2008-03-28T10:03:00.003Z

i've finally moved on from my present job.was thinking of taking time off from all the pressure for a few weeks.but only after 4days of being unemployed,i've been offered two great jobs that i cant refuse.just when i thought i could relax a little bit,comes another huge decision making.they both have a good package.n both r really pushing me to take it.cant i have a peace of mind just for a few more days???

but i've made my decision.n i'm happy with it.also,1 more week of relaxing before i head back to a new busy office.(i absolutely LOVE the view!!)

tonite will be heading to Cork.supporting the boys in green (or is it in blue?)tomorow.football thingy..i know its gonna be pretty bored for me,but since everyone was going,i didnt wanna be left behind.plus,i've never been to Cork.

did my garda 2days ago.so close of getting 1 yr.all the flirting n laughing almost worked... ALMOST!then the bloody boss had to walk pass him....urgh!so close!i spent almost 5hrs there just waiting for my stupid number to come up,n didnt even get a year.dahla my number malang gile..444.so imagine how nervous i was.i've heard all the wacky tell tales of going to the garda.blood bath!!hahaha...but i'm glad everything's fine now.

the nice thingy coming up in 2weeks.i promised myself if i get a new job,i'll go.problem is,i have to take 1 day off.i just started work,hows it gonna look like if i just take off??bad huh?i dunno,but i really wanna go.flight is really expensive!n goin there just for a sports event is just not worth it.i'd rather go to armin van buuren.

am suppose to be cooking early today..malasnye nak klua beli brg.sakit pinggang from all the walking yesterday.i feel old.i also have to pack for tonite.i hate packing!

2 more days of misery

2008-03-05T22:11:00.002Z

cant wait for the weekend.will be going away with the roomie to waterford compliments of my boss.gonna celebrate the roomie's bday.got a few tricks in the bag.hope it goes well.cant wait to see the look on my roomie's face.

just finished class by the way...half of the class...i thot if the college was a bit further from home,i'd stay a little longer.but thanks to a certain 'buddy' of mine who couldnt resist temptation to leave at half time,i idiotically followed her.so there goes the 2nd class down the drain.was promised that next week will do better.i hope so..

by the way,ignore the previous post.even after re-reading for the upteenth time,i still feel like a dumbass.what was i thinking??but truth is,i got a good feedback.but i'm not taking things any further.that'll be the most stupidest thing i would do.

work these days have been very tense.so much crisis,so much cursing,too much smoking.i'm just a few steps away of losing hair.it's getting more and more stressful everyday.i'll probably try to stay for another year before i run off to another place.i need the experiance no matter how difficult i have to get thru everyday.

that's 1 of the reason i cant wait for this weekend.i just want to get away from all the work.i feel like being in a big man's world and it ain't nice.i need a break.need to be pampered.need to be loved...who am i kidding??ofcourse i'm loved...by that little beaver of mine....

~Curiosity killed the cAt~

2008-03-03T22:13:00.003Z

my thoughts are going haywire rite now.i know i'm not suppose to think of even doing what i did.but there's some sort of energy that's forcing me to do it.it's out of my control.n i know if i ignore it,i'm always gonna wonder what would happen if i did...but i'm also thinking that i might have made a fool of myself.maybe i went just a little bit far.i dont know...the first response was 'just' ok.n it kinda makes it difficult to predict what's gonna happen next.

gawd,i feel nervous.i know i have nothing to lose...well,not nothing.there's always consequences pulling a stunt like this.but i'm willing to take the risk.

the next step is to wait...yup,waiting is a bitch aint it?my heart just skips a beat everytime my curiosity jumps up a notch.memories flashing back to that chapter of my life.the life that i've long forgotten suddenly just comes rushing back.regrets?maybe,maybe not.i'm just so confused.how did i get in this mess in the first place???

see,this is y i cant be left alone.i tend to think of so many things.things that i cant even imagine i would do.but i always manage to surprise myself with my stupidity.

yes,i know its confusing.i'm a little dizzy myself.i mean,what good could possibly come out of it???at the same time,it wouldnt cause any harm to anyone,i think.

i really have to stop this...its not healthy.have to stop being mischievous.if i get caught,i'll be in big trouble!

Promotion!!

2008-02-22T19:02:00.003Z

Today was such a GREAT day for me.i got promoted to Credit Controller!!Congratulations to me!!!*big grin* Couldnt stop smiling since morning.i guess my boss trusts me with such a big responsibility like that.i've got to prove to him that i'm capable of handling that position.
the training took about 2 hours.but my fc says i'll learn more as days go.i'm so excited of handling new challenges.the best part was when he said 'welcome to the Credit Controll world'.it just felt official.n i'm loving the title :)

anyways,first day on the new job,everything went well,until some idiot customer gave me mumbo jumbo numbers to work with.took 3/4 of my day just trying to figure it out.issue still unresolved n i'll have to get back to it on monday.its friday,no point giving myself a hard time.

enuff bout work,did i mention ACCA result was out??well,no surprise there.as usual,i have to go thru it again.this time i think i'm gonna do it seriously.decided to enrol at griffith with mynn.atleast i'll have 1 good company there.plus,i'd like to change the environment.so bored of bpp already.and dbs is deffinately a NO NO for me.

as i mentioned before,i'll b heading for london tomorow.hope there's no delay especially bcos of the riot thats due to take place next week.cant this ppl just relax n be happy??always demanding for more...

i better go take a shower,have my dinner n got to bed early.i think my flight's at 6am tomorow.dont wanna miss it.i hate waking up early on saturday..urgh!

dont know what to call this post :)

2008-02-17T16:15:00.003Z

i suppose its about time for an update huh?i'm juz too lazy lately.hardly open my laptop for browsing purposes,not to mention typing.seriously malas...

so the past month...what has happened....hmmm...

trip to madrid was ok i guess.didnt really enjoy myself cos i was sick most of the time.damm the flu!!but there's nothing much to see there anyway.

when i got back,heard the worst news.got fucked up by 1 of my best mate.thing is she didnt have the courage to say it to my face....whatever!this frenship is deffinately over.

the days after that is pretty much a blur.was mostly busy with work.plus the audit season has come again.had to work on saturday.really hate that!but got my share of bonus for all the hard work.was worth it.

this weekend was very low key.cooked nasik lemak with ana.was craving the minute i woke up.the result was priceless....sungguh lazat.

did i mention i won a lucky draw at the office??got myself another ipod...hahaha....the 3rd one.seems that some ppl were jealous n didnt think i deserved it.well,helllooooooooo.....its not that i want the thing in the first place.so just to spite them,i took it....booohoooo...
decided to give it to razi instead.he deserves it.its a way of showing him how much i appreciate what he's done for me in the past.he looked so happy when i gave it to him.

this weekend i'll be going to london yet AGAIN.....i know i know.....boringgg.....but this will be the first trip with all the housemates.so we'll go crazy i guess...heheh

so that about sums it up.nothing much to report.my life is just peachy...

Hyperventilating

2008-01-14T19:19:00.000Z

i dont know y,but i've been having trouble breathing today.it's like my lungs cant take in any oxygen and scares me to death.1 of my collegues says it probably heartburn.i think its those polish cigarettes i've been smoking.or it could be because of the weather.i hope it is.i'm not ready to give up my fags yet.its the only thing keeping me sane...

last weekend didnt really do anything.stayed home and watched lots of movies.i have to save some money for my trip to madrid next week.cant wait!

ohh n decided to go to london for the free flight.i seriously dun wanna go to frankfurt..its just gonna be a daytrip though.there's really nothing to see there.no point going there so many times.just wanna go see whats left of the sale there.

anyways,registration for tagrugby just started.didnt wanna join at first because my budgetting for this month is way off scale.but the captain managed to persuade me.so i guess i'll still be in the team this summer.have to get the right shoes this time just to be safe from getting injured like last time.i wonder if they sell guards for fingers??i cant stand the pain of spraining it again.

this weekend will be the kursus kahwin thingy...cant believe i'm actually going.keep telling myself its for my future.doesnt mean i'm gonna get married anytime soon.if mummy knew i was going for this course,she'll probably freak out thinking i'm getting married in dublin.she warned me before...jgn pandai2 kawin plak kat dublin tu...dun worry mummy.your advise is fully noted.

baby n ana r back.i've missed them through out christmas and new year.sure felt different when they went home.baby went to see my mum.she says mummy misses me very VERY very much :((( same for me.the hardest part when talking to her on the phone is when she says that she misses me and wants me to come home.its just so hard for me to hear that.i'll be home,soon enough.patience...

ooohhh before i forget.i wanna wish happy bday to my crazy wacko friend ain.u're 24 now babe!i love u to bits even when u're old and wrinkly!n to think,she plans to be engaged sum time this yr,n be married next yr.problem is,who's gonna be the groom??heheheheheh....u're always thinking ahead of urself dear.but i'm sure melbourne is filled with eligible bachelors.

i guess thats it for now.time for a hot shower...

2008 Holidays

2008-01-09T21:16:00.000Z

i've got a few vacations lined up for this year.it's only the first week of 2008 and already i've booked for my holiday for the whole year.have to use my holidays wisely since it's very limited.

first stop, Madrid...25th January.just going for the weekend.the ticket was quite cheap.plus there's a HUGE sale going on there at the moment.dont wanna miss that chance,eventho i know that i'm broke rite now.

next,Frankfurt..23 February.nothing's certain yet.not really keen on going since there's nothing interesting there.but the flight is free..thats good to know i guess.

The ultimate trip would be in June.....Ibiza,Spain.1 full week.just after exam.10 ppl confirmed.summer time..got the tickets last nite.very cheap.7days of non stop partying,beach,beautiful people.CAN'T WAIT!

Last but not least,HOME...hoping to go back for raya.been browsing thru travel agents for a couple of weeks now.found some good deals.but still unsure on which.i have to decide the latest by April.

I guess that's all for now.who knows maybe I might go crazy and decide to go somewhere else in between.This year is all about travelling...

a new beginning

2008-01-04T22:35:00.000Z

first of all,let me start this entry by wishing everyone a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!2007 had been fun,but lets make 2008 a blast :)

how i celebrate new yr?well,had about 5-10 frens over.had a book discussion,watched a couple of old movies and slept soundly in front of the telly.....

NOT!!!

well if u're under one roof wif parjo,mean,nazar n dinie...dats so unlikely to happen.the only thing we're good at are having a massive house parties.so what did we do for new year??u guessed it.we partied like there was no tomorrow.invited all the hardcore party animals.they were not disappointed.we gave them the time of their lives.
there were a few new faces.nothing wrong with socialising these days.just wanted to show them a good time.n i hope they did.

had our own dj for the nite...thanx fydu!not to mention the lighting and the amount of space for the dance floor.i love my new home :) but gotta be careful not to get evicted yet again...hehehe....
no warning letter so far,so i guess its safe to say that we'll be staying put.

the aftermath,i must say,was not so bad.no ciggarette butts on the floor,no drinks spilled,no damage on the furniture,just empty plastic cups here n there.everyone really behaved n respected the venue.thanks folks!

as for me?i'm glad ppl came to our party.n i sure had loads of fun...my new year resolution?dats a tough cookie...maybe i'll try to take things seriously this year.i'm all grown up now.turning 24 next month *hint*.better make wiser decisions in life,but not forgetting to enjoy and cherish every moment.

sakit badan..

2007-12-28T11:42:00.000Z

urghh...my neck is killing me...salah bantal...plus my ankle is a little sore courtesy of ice skating last nite.need to get the right size for skates next time.
also had fun splurging my money all across henry n grafton yesterday.retail therapy is the best especially when i'm goin thru a difficult time rite now.having a good company is even better!(thanks nad kerana sanggup ke hulu ke hilir mcm org gile).the weather didnt stop us.only the que at the cashier.

so anyways,after recalculating my expenses plus paying bills and renewing for acca,i'm almost half broke!i'm never good with money.nak mintak duit kat parents pun dah tersipu sipu cam keldai.i guess i cant leave the house for another 1 week to save whatever's left in the bank.but it seems so boring staying at home alone since i'm the only one on holiday till the new year.nak tgk movie pn is gonna cost me...dahla today's weather is very sunny...tempting...

we'll juz have to c what happens.nad's comin for lunch.dat'll keep me distracted from goin out.but first things first,i have to take a shower..

All i want for Christmas is solitude

2007-12-26T21:18:00.000Z

decisions..decisions..i think i made the right one...did i?i dunno...i'm not sure myself.been thinking bout it for so long already.what am i giving up really?in my heart,i know,A LOT.the hardest thing is letting go.matters of the heart really sux...it feels like an addiction.its bad for u,but u still want it badly.this is sumthin even therapy cant help.it depends on how strong u are.have to focus on being a better person in the future.honestly,what have i accomplished?

well...he has done his share of good deeds.and i'm trully grateful.but all the negative side is overpowering the positive.but ppl can change....can he?maybe the timing is not right.i know i've grown so much for the past 2yrs.i'm able to think rationally.i can forgive and forget.i'm able to control my anger.i've learned to be patient...he taught me that...

sumone told me the other day that sum ppl keep their feelings to themselves.i juz have to learn to wait.well,i hav been waiting.for too long now.being afraid is juz no fun.getting hurt is much worst.but that's how u learn from ur mistakes i guess.

i hate this so much...i hate thinking.things were so much easy back then.before it got complicated.before it got serious.i want those fun days back.i want to be able to laugh without any worries.i want a good honest conversation where we can laugh at each other.i want to be able to stare at him without saying a word.

waaarrrrgghhh...this isnt easy for me.thing is,since that 'incident',i can never admit to myself that i hav feelings for him.i juz dun wanna ask myself that.dun wanna take the risk.i care,but i dunno if i luv.maybe i want to,but i'm juz scared.i've always had this problem.even in past relationships.n i screwed up pretty bad cos of it.i just dun like the title.keep it simple...but that was then.i want to change.but this relationship is not helping.now i'm back to where i started.i guess what goes around comes around.

i need sum time on my own to think.its a big step.i wish things were different.i wish there was an easy way to do this.i wish for so many things.but the reality is,i cant change a thing.it all depends on what i want,whats best for me..have to look beyond the flaws..

Exam blues

2007-12-11T15:17:00.000Z

less than 24hrs to go before my exam.and what am i NOT doing...study would be the first.i've had 2days off work n what have i been doing?makan tido makan tido...this is not holiday julie!!n it doesnt help that my ipod touch just arrived yesterday.cant get my hands off it.instead of browsing thru my notes,i'm browsing thru my songs!its a smart little thing i tell ya!sumbody needs to get it out of my hands!!i'm totally hooked.of all days,it had to come 2days before my exam.

focus...p3...focus...p3...arrghhh...i cant!!seriously cant...my notes are all over the place(like always) n my brain is deffinately sum where else....ibiza..summer...ibiza...summer...

1 more week before christmas break...cant wait.10days holiday...what am i gonna do first??hmmm...tricky.

maybe i should start planning on where i wanna go next yr.lots of places to visit.thank god i'm in europe.or else there'll be no chance of goin anywhere around here if i was back home.takpela bankrup sbb travel,janji tak mcm loser duk dublin nie tak pegi mane2.

better start TRYING flipping my notes...i wish there were more colourful pictures like when we were in kindergarden.baru la tak ngantuk...kan best if it was multiple choice questions.bole main tembak je.who knows maybe ade yg kene.i hate exams...

mid week crisis

2007-11-21T20:35:00.000Z

Lynn's last day today.she got a better job offer sumwher in ballsbridge.so happy for her.at the same time,feeling a bit jealous myself.when am i gonna get a new job??i'm so sick and tired of my job.it gets worst day-by-day.its about time for me to leave...

had a meeting with paul.he's worried that i might leave on short notice as well.cant help but feel sorry for him.but i'm sure he understands how i feel.i do wanna leave,but paul is making it difficult for me...but sooner or later,he has to accept that its just no fun anymore.

talking bout work is really depressing...lets just skip it.

getting nervous cos exam's just a few weeks away.havent touched my notes yet.its still nicely tucked on the shelves with cobwebs all around it....hahahhaha....

goin to notts next week.gonna be a bit controversial on the accomodation.juz hope it wont be weird.have to act as cool as possible.i'm goin there for fun,not drama.

ok...better continue sending my cv...

weekend of boredom

2007-11-10T19:11:00.000Z

yes yes...i know...been so long since my last entry.was too lazy to actually take a few minutes and blog..seriously lazy...so lazy that i've left my laptop out in the living room for almost 2 weeks now...hahahha...

to sum up on wat has happen for the past couple of weeks...

lets start with futsal.yes,our team was not just good.we were great!minus our self-proclaimed captain/goalie...felt like i could kill her,but turns out,i trully have an absolute huge tollerence on annoying people.oh n just to be clear,our team DO NOT need sponsors to play.we r perfectly capable to use our OWN money to pay for watever costs.n we certainly dont owe to the sponsors to win.we're just out for fun...GOOD GAME GUYS!

halloween...didnt really do anything.wasnt in the costume-ish mood anyway..hung out with the roommate.nothing special.

the days after that were pretty normal.work 9-5.friday nite watching the boys play poker and falling asleep on the sofa.pretty basic.boring actually.but dats life i guess.cant expect to have excitements all the time.

what i'm realy excited about is the fact that my revision lecturer is so utterly HOT! i mean seriously hot...hehehe....he was so.....aaaaaahhhhhh.....i was drooling over him all the way thru class.dont believe me??head to BPP tomorow for revision.n u'll know what i'm talking bout.i'm just one of those lucky ppl who got bumped to option3 and i'm so thankful for it...tima kasih bpp!

by the way,revision means exam is near.which means time to start digging all those ancient notes and those thick files of mine.i think my files r heavier than me!but just cos exam's around the corner,doesnt mean i cant go for a little detour....to Notts!hahah...yup,i'll be supporting the dubliners at the notts game end of this month.mmg tak seda diri btul kan??ingat acca nie main2 je ke??hehehehhe

gawd,i have a terrible headache rite now.probably cos i've been staying in the house for too long watching gossip girl.apparently its on tv now.but thanks to the internet,i get to download it. i read the books before courtesy of the 'bookworm' dirah.but the show is even better.dirah,u hav to watch it!!

so thats pretty much it.really cant think of anything else rite now.my head is killing me!probably need to take a hot shower.

Raya datang lagi

2007-10-17T20:44:00.001+01:00

such a stressfull day today.managed to handle my first most difficuly guy.how dare he said i didn't know how to calculate!!last2 sendiri termalu...padan muke!its all about being patient...

anyways,dont wanna talk about work.raye was pretty good this year.got to wear my baju raye that mummy kirim...sgtlah suke!thanks mummy!had loads of food.jumped from one house to another.stomach was so full with all kinds of raya food...almost threw up with the amount of rendang and nasi himpit consumed.but all was oh-so-satisfying.the best part was that we wore matching baju raya...it wasn't planned.i guess mummy has the same taste as him :P u know what they say..mum knows best!

i miss the family ..saw their raya pix...sgtlah pilu...wishing i was there.want to play fireworks with them.want to salam2 with the parents.want to pow duit raye from the brother and sisters.unfortunately,not this year.maybe next.

didnt have the chance to call my frens back home to wish slamat hari raya..credit on my calling card is limited...hope they understand.i do think of them,honestly.just hope they're doing well.

anyways,i would like to take this opportunity to wish all my family and frens no matter where they are...SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI & MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN...i hope i am forgiven for all the wrong doings...

...Back from VACATION...

2007-10-10T10:40:00.000+01:00

i'm back!!had a great vacation!1 week in italy...still floating in the air....sigh...everything was so perfect.great weather,delicious food,beautiful sights,perfect companion...everything was PERFECTO!

venice...so romantic...amazed with the city on water.dinner by the water.sitting by the canal eating gelati.watching the boats go by...aaaahhhhh.....it was really peaceful.no cars,no highways...just the sound of the water.i loved it...we loved it...

rome...so beautiful..filled with historical monuments.my favourite was the trevi fountain.we sat there for hours.been wanting to go there for so long.can't believe my dream has come true.everything was just like i'd thought it would be.threw a coin and made a wish...

we went to all the famous historical places...piazza de spagna,vatican,basillica san pietro,colleseum,boca de veritta...just so many...can hardly remember all the names.the most important thing are the pictures!will never forget rome...

milan...shopping shopping and MORE SHOPPING!!felt like i was in a movie...hint..devil wears prada...everyone was so stylish.like they were doing a fashion show later...everywhere u go,u'll see huge designer shops.everyone was glamourous holding their huge designer paperbags in 1 hand.spent a few hundred euros myself.couldnt resist temptation.now i'm flat broke!mummy..need some money!

last destination...bruxelles...very weird place.felt as if its just been out of a war or sumthing.the weather was gloomy...the buildings were old and gray...but the people were really nice.an old couple helped us out on where to go and what to do.they even wrote it down for us.

the best thing about bruxelles is the belgian chocolate!u'll see chocolate shops everywhere u go.all kinds of shapes ans sizes.all homemade.my favourite would be the belgian waffle.fresh made waffle with loads of fresh strawberries and delicious hot chocolate covering the waffle...i can still taste it in my mouth.just describing it is making my mouth all watery...

we went to the mini europe as well.all of europe's biggest monument in miniature sizes.it was really cute!kids loved the place.everything was so tinnie tiny!but u get to cover all of the european countries in such a little place.this place is a must whenever u want to go to bruxelles!

so there u have it...my 1 week honeymoon :)) feel free to look at more pictures at my multiply.i deffinately had a great time.saw so many beautiful places.hoping to go back again someday...especially rome...but i guess this trip felt more special because of him...thanx dear!i'd be lost without you...literally!hahahahha

Vacation!

2007-10-02T17:11:00.000+01:00

got off work at 3pm.today's my last day before i head off to italy tonite.i'm so excited!but i didnt feel that confident leaving my workload to someone else for the whole week.oh well,i'm just gonna have to deal with that when i get back.

feel so excited!!just got out of the shower...cant stop jumping and singing.1 week in italy...venice>rome>milan and last minute stop to brussels,belgium.was suppose to be goin with 6 ppl.but ended up just me &him.romantic getaway?we'll see...

i dont know what to pack.the reason i left early is so i can figure out what to bring.but i'm totally clueless!cant even remember where i put my passport!he probably knows where...

anyways,mynn left for good today.sure as hell gonna miss her at the office.we've had some great laughs.dont know what i'd do without her.still learning bout this new job...her job...she's the only person i trust n now that she's gone,i dont know who i'm gonna go to with all those queries...hahahaha....

i think i better start digging my closet...i'll probably end up bringing EVERYTHING!

Mean Girls

2007-09-30T12:34:00.000+01:00

what makes one superior?better than anyone else?other than special talent,ofcourse.how is it that ego can turn someone to an absolute monster?

mean girls...

how far can girls go to hurt another?why make up stories?the so-called gossip can turn someone to the most vicious person on the planet!its like a favourite past time.its fun,u have a great laugh n for just that few seconds,u feel 10times better than that person.but how far can u go?how long will that feel-good experiance last?dont u realise it doesnt make u any better that the victim?

enuff bout gossip..i'm sure everyone knows how horrible it can become.lets move on..

money..money..money..who makes more than the other?who the f**k cares!y is it even an issue?just cos one makes more than the other,doesnt mean they're royalty!what u have is for u to know,not the world.is it compulsary to flaunt all the 'branded things' and all the money in the world to everyone?to me,the genuine person with a few extra cash are the ones who DONT show it.u just know by the way they carry themselves..

next up...

the other girl...there are many names for this person,better known as 'the homewrecker'.this person comes between you and your man.you may think you were meant for each other,soulmates and nothing can ever come in between to break u apart.then suddenly,comes this person who changes everything!she destroys the trust,the love,the companionship u thought u had.and no matter how hard u scream & cry,IT HAPPENED!its either u cut him loose,or just stay for the sake of keeping him miserable or just cos u want a Mr Right-Now.plenty of time to find Mr Right later.no point attacking this so-called homewrecker cos then you'll just stoop to their level....cheap and desperate.fighting for a guy who betrays u?f**kin nonsense.he's not worth it my dear.

moving on...

plastic...this is my favourite one.you'll never go through life without encounting these species.they are also known as two faced,backstabbers,fake,etc.y they exist?craving of being the center attention?bad past life?lonely?pathetic?loser?its a million dollar question.they dont know the meaning of sincerity.there's no such thing as honesty to them.just lies lies and more lies.like an actor on a job 24/7.just hope they retire soon before everyone sees the role they're playing.

i'm sure there are more types of mean girls.the dangerous part of it all is that you can't really recognise them.they may look sweet & innocent...its all deception.its all a mask.truth is,u cant escape.just be more cautious.be more observant..and dont judge a book by its cover.

Bad Day

2007-08-30T20:43:00.000+01:00

today was such a dreadful day for me.felt like i wanted to kill someone!i mean how far can he go to test my patience?!?!?just cos he was there longer than me,doesnt mean he's smarter!everyone can see what a lazy ass he is n bloody stupid.I HATE IRISH!!!!!!!

left early from work today.couldnt handle the pressure.was telling myself that i have to get a new job.i cant work with smelly idiots.its good enuff dat i'm helping him doing his pathetic work!now he's blaming me cause i missed out sumthing...DATS YOUR F*CKIN JOB!!!!not even a thank you for helping?!!?!??!

good thing abg baik doesnt see it as my fault.i guess he's fully aware of dat retard being so lazy.truth is,i'm a little pist at abg baik as well.he keeps coming up with tasks after tasks after tasks.cant i just finish 1 thing at a time.i'm not a robot.just cos i'm fast,doesnt mean i'm not tired.give me a break pleaseee!!i'm so sick of seeing numbers.and it really doesnt help giving me figures in tiny little fonts.i'm not wearing glasses and i dont intend to.

as a bonus,i have a fat finger thanx to rugby training 2 days ago.can my day be any worst???my pinky finger is now fat and blue.how attractive is that??could barely type.had to wrap a salophene tape around it to make sure it doesnt move.

so as i was saying,left early from work today.had class at 630.thank god its just in front of my place!had time to take a shower and change.the class was packed.the lecture was ok.but i only managed to stay for the first half.tummy was grumbling with hunger.

had sumthing to munch.tummy all better now.i juz wanna relax and forget about today.i wanna lie on my bed and stay still....

just another post

2007-08-15T19:25:00.000+01:00

.....sgt kecewa kerana tidak dpt bertembung dgn si kacak arini :(( ..........

ignore the opening line.juz got back from work.sakit belakang yg teramat sgt.too much sitting down.must go for ciggie break more often...hehhhehe...

went to the beach again last weekend...brittas bay.sumwhere in wicklow.it was B-E-A-UTIFUL!love the sand...love the sea...hate the wind!had a bbq on the beach.plenty of food.extra ingredient...sand....hahahahhaa....

got back from the beach,off to blanchardstown for bowling.didnt play.was too tired from the beach.almost fell asleep at the bowling alley.others sure had fun.still plenty of energy.i need to eat more!i'm always so tired.lack of vitamins maybe??

kiki went home....AGAIN!so jealous...i wanna go home too :(( but when i do,i wont be coming back here...better kumpul duit dulu...nanti balik msia dah ade duit leh kawin....hahahaha...yeah rite....marriage is d last thing on my mind rite now.i'm not ready.i still feel like a teenager.still nakal2 lagi....

hadi's bday is today.heading to greeg court later...malasnye nak mandi...not to mention walking there.bile nak kaya raya nie??leh beli kete sebijik!keep on dreaming...

speaking of dreaming,had 'the' most wierdest dream 2 nites ago....kieran & roomie...hahahaha....hilarious!not gonna go into detail.use your imagination.but trust me...VERY VERY PELIK!

tag rugby this weekend.wont be playing this time.ankle still sakit.but promise to play the next game.hope the team does well.probably not aiming for victory...we're juz not as skilled as the 'mat saleh'.but who knows?miracles do happen.

...harap2 terserempak dgn si kacak tomorow.timing must be rite :P ........

Bank Holiday Weekend

2007-08-06T18:06:00.000+01:00

i'd have to say that this has got to be 1 of the best bank holiday ever.woke up saturday morning n decided to have a day out at the beach.googled on some of the beaches.decided to go to skerries.its about 30mins from the city.called up a few frens.took a shower and ready for action!

a little disappointed about the weather at first cos it was a bit gloomy.but when we got there,everything changed!the beach was quite nice.settled down on our own little spot.there were not many ppl around so it was good.we could basically do watever we wanted.played a game of tag rugby and also beach football.had some food...and jumped in the water!it was freezing cold at first!but u get used to it.

i laughed and screamed so much till i had sore throat.everyone seemed so happy.it was exactly what we needed after a long and hard days of work.its been awhile since we all got together and had so much fun.i deffinately had a blast :)

later that evening,more turned up.even the ones who were about to take their exams in a few days time came.it was great seeing all of us goin crazy at the beach.it was a good clean fun!

after a full day at the beach,most of us were so exhausted.i juz wanted to crawl in bed.but had to go to rogue first to support a fren.went for a few hours,and left cos my feet were killing me.my eyes could barely stay open!went home and straight to bed!

sunday was pretty good too!had a m&s lunch party at home.basically bought half the store but ended up with so many leftovers!tamak punye pasal....hehehhe...

later in the evening,had a little bbq.boys of greeg court came over with chicken ready to be cooked.the house was filled with smoke from the grill!but again,it was great to have ppl over for food.

they all continued on with a game of poker till early morning.i ended sleeping on the sofa watching a movie.

today i decided to stay in cos of the rain.it seems to be raining quite heavily these past few days.juz gonna stay in and watch a movie.hate the fact that this long weekend is almost over.almost time to go back to reality again.am looking forward to the next long weekend.

Volvic Tag Blitz

2007-07-23T09:34:00.000+01:00

Played rugby on saturday...correction...tag rugby.so much fun but also scarry playing against the irish!i never realised how huge and fast they were.but i'd have to say our team was quite good for a first timer.it was pretty obvious we were the only foreign team.mlayu semua kecik2 je....but the 'Malay All' team managed to prove themselves as not totally shaken by the irish physical appearence.

we won a game...proud moment!but the rest...well,i'm sure u know.cant expect to go far for the first time rite?funny part...i was defending and this guy was coming rite at me,and i let him go thru cos he was so cute!hahahaha.....my bad.cant help it.but my other teammate managed to tag him.poor cute guy..

worst part?i was injured by my own teammate (no need to mention the name.u know who u are!)he accidently stepped on my ankle with his boots while we were trying to tag the same guy.sakit nak mati!!!!!was kicking and screaming.thank god it was our last game.couldnt wait to go home.now my left ankle is bigger than my right.i've been limping since.it figures why i'm not at work today :P

as predicted,sakit badan the next day.can barely walk.but i had ppl to help me around the house :)) had to force myself to get out of bed.tak bole manjekan sgt kalau sakit.decided to watch transformers at nite.jalan pun tempang2 pegi ugc.but the movie was worth all the limping.the cinema was full when i got there.it was so good!wouldnt mind watching it again.

this morning i've decided not to go to work.tak larat nk jalan cos my ankle is still painful plus my body is still so tired.just gonna have a good rest on my HUGE bed.cant wait for the bank holiday.planning a nice vacation at the beach.just hope the weather is nice.cant stand another rainy day!

anyways,even after in so much pain,i'm looking forward to play tag rugby again.i just love the team work.i'd have to say it's so much more fun than futsal.but we're gonna need more girls the next time.so,any girls interested in playing???

My Favourite Things

2007-07-11T19:34:00.000+01:00

i couldnt sleep last nite n the only thing i could think of was the song from the sound of music.i know i know...very corny,but its true.the song's called 'my favourite things'.sister maria would sing it everytime she felt scared or lonely or juz simply bored.so since i couldnt sleep,i decided to think bout my favourite things...

my favourite sleeping position...
masok dlm sangkar..i'm sure u know this 1,but not many realise of the term...sounds weird aint it??u sleep in the fetal position,n sumone hugs u from the back.trust me,u'll feel safe all nite long..i could just sleep all day n all nite :))

my favourite smell...
tumis...hehe...the smell of onions n garlic is juz the best.reminds me of home...dun ask me how.it just does!

my favourite moment...
driving around in my car with my bestmates(ain & sha) n singing to watever comes on the radio.we've had good laughs havent we?
my favourite sound...
jonny....the bird that likes to imitate almost anyone or anything....sha sez he was a human being in his past life!

my favourite animal...
hands down to the feline species.what do u call a cat that's a spoilt brat?well...that's my baby.lazy as hell,but drop dead gorgeous.kinda applies to humanbeing sumtimes..hehehehh...

my favourite house...
this is a tough 1...but i'd have to say pandan perdana.had the best hsemates,n ofcourse cheap rent!what i'd do to go back to that 2years of my life...

my favourite drama...
dirah..this one goes out to u....(please dun be mad.its a way of never forgetting u actually)

my favourite event...
...godskitchen 2005...the beginning...

my favourite time of the day...
6.30pm..walking home from work,passing by the river......its juz so peaceful.and the view is breathtaking.

my favourite voice...
family....on the phone.....sigh.....

my favourite season...
musim buah...hehehehhe...the 4seasons fail to impress me.m'sia is still the best!

i could go on n on with this list...but the truth is,u do forget bout being scared/bored/lonely...the song really does work!

sudah berkurun lamanya....

2007-06-29T21:11:00.000+01:00

yes i know...its been centuries since my last update.too much has happened.exams>farewell party>evicted>new penthouse>excessive workload.very,i repeat,VERY HECTIC.and all this happened within 1 month.so far,i managed to survive.dun really wanna think bout all this mess.tanak serabut kepale otak.am taking it 1 day at a time.

it stopped raining everyday.what a relief.no more basah2 going n coming back from work.no more wet shoes n wet socks (yuck!).am running out of clean socks by the way.did my laundry the other day.3 whole rounds!byk nak mati!

was reading thru ain's blog.she's rite!i do miss all those wacky days living together.gawd,how idiotic was i back then.but no matter how stupid,i'd do anything to go back to those good ol' days.

had a dream about 1 of my frens last nite.it was weird.name should be disclosed.i think it was my subconscience telling me to go home.i'm just too caught up with my life rite now that i forgot bout all those ppl who matter the most.but i dun think i'm ready to go home just yet.i need more time.i'm not really sure for what,but i know if i go home,i wouldnt really have achieved anything here.

this weekend will be filled with bbqs.hoping for sun all day long.sale has started,but i can only afford to go window shopping :((

i hate to have to sneak around when i'm bloggin.ade je org curious wanting to know what i write.like HELLLOOOOOOO.......this thing will be posted y'know!sheeessshhh!!ade org tu plak ingat aku nie dok menggatal.dont u know me at all??i'm not into all this cinta cyber for heaven sake.n the last time i checked,i'm already 23.so that gives me the right to do whatever i want.

guess i better stop now.this guy's curiosity is driving me nuts!hope to have a great weekend!

exam day 1

2007-06-04T17:06:00.000+01:00

1 down,1 to go!i have no exact explanation on this morning's paper.all i know is dat i despise the subject.i mean cmon,who likes studying bout all these computer systems n shit??well,unless u're a nerd!my preparation for the paper was terrible,so i'm not really expecting an 'over the top' results.n the best part?i forgot to bring my pencil case!hahahhaa...last minute terhegeh2 pinjam kat org.so basically i went for the exam unprepared n 1 batang pen... ;P

felt so exhausted after getting out of the exam hall...cehh,mcm power je.padahal smlm tido awal.jawab pun tah ape2 tah.got home n straight away went to bed.tido mcm org gile!

am planning to go for a swim tonite.badan asik lemah je.kene exercise skit.i feel like i'm in a sleeping competition...

i cant believe after hours of sleeping,i'm still sleepy.ape nk jadi nie??the fact dat i'm awake now is probably cos i'm hungry.could i be more of a sloth???juz cant resist the weather...light rain n cool breeze.suitable for sleeping mode.

i'm suppose to be studying for 3.3 tapi i'm so malas x ingat dunia rite now.not hoping to pass pun.tapi kalau nk fail pun,jgn la bawah 20 rite??hehehe...silap2 examiner tu call nape markah teruk sgt...hahahahha

i keep reminding myself to get the baju out of the washing machine...tp dari pagi td tak buat2 lagi.u see the level of lazyness i'm in?its juz so ridiculous!sumone really needs to teach me a lesson!

cuti lagi

2007-05-21T08:26:00.000+01:00

so a'a followed his sister's footsteps....he went home about a week ago.i only felt his absence 12hours after he was gone.came to realise he wont be around anymore.didnt get to say a proper goodbye to him cos i was sound asleep.but atleast we had a nice dinner the nite before.sure as hell gonna miss having him around.

last nite was a combination of 2 mothers' dishes for dinner.i was craving for fish.was drooling over mummy's sweet n sour.the dish was a success!not to mention nazar's mum's japanese tofu.was very VERY good.dessert was probably the best part.m&s tiramisu+ben&jerry's fudge brownie.....drool...my dinner was complete!!i love food...

before i forget,did i mention i'm not at work today??kemalasan melanda yet again.well actually,i sprained my neck this morning.was about to get up n accidently pulled a muscle as i was stretching.it was so painful!felt like my veins were all tied up in a knot.took me awhile to untangle it....so now i'm still at home,warm in my bed.well,atleast i'm not the only one not going to work today ;P

this week will also be my last week at work before my 2weeks break for exam.honestly,i'm so NOT prepared.i'm totally clueless.i know absolutely NOTHING....ZERO....ZILCH...nervous??u bet i am.

gettin hungry...let's c wat i can find in the fridge....

long weekend

2007-05-08T19:04:00.000+01:00

another weekend passed...correction...long weekend.this time is a little different.managed to actually get off my ass n actually do something.friday nite's party was good.i'd giv it a 3 star :) it's been too long since i actually enjoyed myself...i'd say amsterdam was the last time i actually had a great time...

saturday,woke up extremely late due to the late nite crayzinesss....took a shower n went to the movies...spiderman 3 was the movie of choice.wouldnt say it was great,but it was for the sake of not goin to the movies for the oh-so-very-long-time.had dinner at a korean restaurant,tho wasnt that hungry.a little annoyed at the ignorant waitress..is it so hard to serve ppl,really??
got home around 11-ish...watched a movie,i dont remember what...hehe...stml!went to bed...

sunday morning woke up around noon...had lunch...was supposed to go swimming,but became terlalu kekenyangan.i'd probably drown myself with all the food in my tummy!
so went home after makan n watched click.yet another not-so-good movie.

monday morning....yeayy!!no work today!!!decided to actually go swimming with my 2 roomies. had lunch first...mean's cooking was sooooooo delicious!!didnt want to wait for others...had mine first!!makan sambil menjilat jari....
after makan,went to the gym....finally dpt berenang.its been awhile...was afraid i'd look like a stupid cow in the pool.takut dah lupe how to swim.but it's like riding a bike...;)
after a few laps....pancit!nie sume gara2 isap rokok byk sgt...heheheh
after swimming,rase cam healthy skit....heheh...skit jela.got out of the place,trus light a ciggie...there goes my exercise!hahaha.....n not forgetting fudge brownie....takde hasil btul...u lose some,u gain some...in my case,gain a lot!!

this morning felt so lazy to wake up.jadi org gile asking everyone not to go to work!!hahahaha....
but in the end,masok shower jugak...thot was gonna be late,but manage to arrive on time.org lain yg lambat listening to me merengek tanak g keje....hehehe....

dats bout it...want to go mandi....

TGIF

2007-05-04T14:36:00.000+01:00

its friday!its friday!!!wooohoooo...thot dis day would never come!!dancing like a crayzie monkey....

after much wait,its finally here.this whole week has been such a drag.took a half day today.couldnt wait to get out of the office.everyone is so eager to party tonite...remember..NO EXPECTATIONS!that always screw things up.juz go wit da flow.

rite now i'm in the middle of a project.hoping to be completed by the end of this month or mid june...that'll keep me busy for the next few weeks.the project is to be kept top secret.but when its ready,it'll be for public viewing.hope it looks good.very nervous!

it feels so good to relax on my bed rite now...finally some peace n quiet...well,it'll only be till 6pm. better use this time on my own wisely.its not everyday i get to be alone like this and just chill.

can u believe tiesto's tix r sold out??i hope everyone's got their tickets already.well,to those who havent,if u're willing to pay a little extra (maybe not little,a lot extra actually)there's still hope.but may not be for long.cant wait till june!!!

it's also gonna be my first summer here.i've decided not to go home.mummy sez she might be coming in july.so there's really no point of me goin home then.if she decides not to come,i'll probably go home for raya in october.i've missed celebrating raya with my family for the past 2yrs.its really not the same here.

ok,time to go back to my project...maybe i should download a couple of movies first.any ideas??

sleepy TUESDAY

2007-05-01T19:37:00.000+01:00

hatta the 'madhatter' announced that he'll be goin back for good in june,last nite.it totally came as a shock!i thought he was only goin back for holiday....turns out,he's not coming back here.i'm not sure how to react actually.i juz know that things are gonna be different.he's done so much for me in the past.i'd be weird not having him around.its juz gonna be me,min n kiki.
better not get emotional over this...he's not gonna leave til end of june.

as for today,i think i'd like to describe it as a 'sleepy tuesday'.manage to get over the 'i hate mondays!' blues.was able to control my vision due to the non-stop emails coming in my inbox. everyone seems to be planning the weekend.sumthing to look forward to after what seem like forever!the ppl at egl n bisys were demanding for a party.the host at mediamarket was eager to have frens over.n others were juz waiting for the verdict.
the topic of tiesto came up...exam dah abis by that time...bole la joli sakan!get ur tickets ppl!

as for the next 3days to come.....patience my frens,by the time u know it,ITS FRIDAY AGAIN!!

i hate mondays

2007-04-30T22:12:00.000+01:00

today felt like the longest monday ever.kept staring at the clock...bila nak kul 6 nie?!?!i guess dats what happens when u dont really have any work to do.time passes so feckin slow!

had a gossip date with nad.gawd,i miss our talks.sum juz plain stupid n awfully funny.but it was worth the time.took the edge off after a long day.needed to hear her advise...

i think i have to change my lifestyle.have to stop being a lazy ass..well,not stop....but change slowly...heheh...have to think bout whats best for me.have to be more selfish.have to stand by my decision.have to be a cold hearted bitch sumtimes.i'm juz too soft hearted.easily let ppl walk all over me.
have to make frens with the right ppl.had enuff of all those 'fake' ppl with all the nice things to say bout u.
have to learn to say NO.let ppl know when i dont agree..get rid of all the pushovers!
have to learn to stand on my own.depending on someone else didnt do me any good anyway.

i talk about all this changes...mcm bole buat je....hehehe.....slowly but surely....;P

30 April 2007

2007-04-29T14:23:00.000+01:00

this weekend has been another unproductive weekend.was supposed to be at revision class yesterday,but woke up late.so predictable!ended up waking up at noon.watch football at ballbridge...very interesting..gado gado wif da pak arab team.
later,had lunch/dinner at charlies....very kenyang...walked home...surprised wif da bunch of ppl at home.got bored,downloaded movies...sheeshh...2hrs..what to do?what to do?went for a cup of coffee at heavenly.havent been there in awhile.soooo delicious!
looked at the time...the movie should have been ready by now!
walked home quickly.ancious to watch the movie....premonition...turns out,downloaded the wrong movie...born loser!mixed up wif some korean/japanese...translated in spanish.pathetic!ended up downloading another movie.another 2 hours wasted.
could barely sleep thanx to the coffee!watched thirteen ghosts....freaked out...fell asleep!hahaha...
woke up early the next morning.did absolutely nothing the whole day....
conclusion??another weekend wasted.lets see what happens next weekend!

FLU...back with avengence!

2007-04-26T08:23:00.000+01:00

my flu is going from bad to WORST!thought was feeling a little bit better yesterday morning.boy,was i so wrong!......coughing away....uhuk!uhuk!....n not to mention the phlegm.its all clogged in my nostrils.n i have the habit of not throwing it out.yeah,i know its disguisting.i feel disguisted myself.but old habits die hard.

gawd,i feel so unhealthy.feel like a sloth.dat idiot ryan used to call me dat.bloody faggot!but kinda miss him torturing me with his stupid jokes.

weekend's almost here.nuthin better to do...well,other than revision.which reminds me,it starts TOMORROW!urghh....so not ready for long hours of class.i hate school.but everything's been paid.the least i can do is actually go.whether i learn or not,dats beside the point..hehe..

i think i'm gonna give my mum a call.atleast she can make me feel a little better...

23rd April 2007

2007-04-23T20:13:00.000+01:00

am feeling a bit under the weather rite now.turns out the sun was just teasing me for the past 2weeks...i feel like there's a blade cutting thru my throat everytime i cough.i hate getting sick!

atleast i have my new toy to keep me company :)) i know its a waste of money.n i know some ppl would say i'd be bored with it after a week...c'mon,gimme a break!my nano lasted for more than a year didnt it??n i'm still crazy bout it.the new toy is like a reward after a long n hard days of work. i think i deserve it.

was looking at the calendar today.exam's in a month.n i'm absolutely clueless!revision is starting next week i think.i can only depend on that now.not getting my hopes up to pass this sitting.maybe the next one will be better.

juz took a sip of lemsip...hoping for a miracle.but thats pretty hard since there's a ciggie lying next to me...maybe later.rest would be best for me rite now.

happy bday afal!

2007-04-21T11:56:00.000+01:00

should have followed my intuition.dinner last nite blows.should've spent the money for something more worthy.let's just forget bout that...i hope i get my money back!

April 19th 2001...the first nephew was born.faly to the grandma & grandpa,afal to the aunts,abang to the sister,naufal ashraf to the world.and as of today,he's 6years old.so smart and cute.born to a family of doctors...he's gonna be a genius someday!
aunty julie,fal nak toys..Starwars was the idol.anything from video games to the costumes...he has it!...yet,he wants more...and i spoil him endlessly.seems to be the favourite.missing the playstation sessions with him....aunty menang...naufal x hebat...and off he ran crying to kak yus....hehehhehe....
talked to the little rascal last nite...so 'ekshen' with his english....getting smarter everyday.wishing i could hug him..he loves hugs n kisses.makes him feel special than the sister.they're all special.but in different ways.but all loved unconditionally.aunty loves you very much!

time for breakfast....eggs,baked beans,toast...ohh...hot choc....perfection..

17 April 2007

2007-04-17T19:51:00.001+01:00

feel so exhausted....the workload is so unbareable...an extra hour at the office??i dun think so.i feel like my brain is gonna expload!

on the other hand,juz got back from amsterdam last week.it was the perfect trip.needed time to cool off...went awfully nuts there!even missed the flight home courtesy of the sex museum..haha..oh well,another day in the land where drugs n prostitution are legal wouldnt hurt.

anyways,dublin's cruelty on the weather has toned down a notch.the touch of the sun on my skin never fails to cheer me.juz hope it's here to stay.so sick of wearing layers n layers of clothing.sumtimes i feel like a muffin!

was at poi n intan's place last weekend.had to say goodbye to their newborn....sigh...must be really hard for them to let go of their first child.but atleast she'll be in good hands back home.

talked to frens back home the other day.cant believe how so much have changed in such short time.where was i when all this happened??gawd,i can be so selfish sumtimes..trust me guys,didnt mean to disappear on u like that.

am waiting for my 'new temporary roomate' to come home.wanna watch a movie.was suppose to hit the shower about half hour ago,but juz cant seem to get myself off the bed....hmm...i think it's been an hour already...what have i been doing?!!?

okok...i'm getting up now.nature calls....hehehehhe

teknologi

2007-04-02T19:00:00.000+01:00

finally,after what seemed like forever,the wireless works!!no more sakit2 blakang sitting on the living room floor.no more wayar simpul2 like cacing...now i can easily baring in my own room with my favourite gadget.senang skit if i want to blog.kalau x,there's always interruption.this girl needs some privacy!

watched 100days with mr arrogant yesterday...TWICE!its juz so funny.kesian plak kat the others cos takde subtitle.but juz watching dat gurl go crazy was enough to make u laugh.i remember watching that movie with my housemates....ketawa sampai guling2...hahahaha..miss those times.

i'm actually really tired rite now.gonna go take a shower n watch a movie...probably sleeping before the movie ends :P

adios!

31 March 2007

2007-03-31T18:17:00.000+01:00

it's 'that' time of the month again...n my stomach feels like there's a tornado...urghh..i hate that!

this week has been really intense,especially at work.'its all jon's fault' i keep on telling myself.but by friday,he was terminated.that's probably the best news i've heard all week!

yesterday was mummy's bday.called a little late.time difference was the best excuse :) gawd,i miss her.i felt so left out when she said everyone was at home celebrating her bday.i hate it that i'm not there.i've missed so many celebrations already.it sux...but i gotta live with it.patience is a virtue.

this weekend is totally unproductive.too lazy to go out.next week...easter weekend...cant wait!look out dutch!here i come!

feeling totally brain dead...am sitting on the couch n watching a still movie.waiting to resume..

dark clouds

2007-03-09T16:17:00.000Z

it's nazar's bday today.had a 'moderate' celebration at midnite.didnt wanna go over the top since most of us were working today.most of us minus myself.i was planning to go,mind you..but i had the worst news last nite...

around 3am,my phone was screaming out 'mail muthafucker..toot toot..mail muthafucka'.was totally awoken by its insult.who would text me at this kind of hour?!??but by a press of a button,my annoyance became a shock..the text came from my nephew back home.'julie..opah kite dah takde.'..i became speechless.my state of mind became a blur.was this for real??it took me a couple of minutes to sink in the news..

then i cried....

i started remembering what she was like.i remembered her smile,i remembered the way she looked at me...she always said 'blaja pandai2...ikut jejak daddy.jgn sekali-kali lupakan daddy'..she always knew how to say the right things.i loved going to her house bcos it was always noisy with people.everybody loved being there.she made everyone feel special.

she was affectionate to everything she owned...her family was her priority.her legacy was priceless.she valued everything in her life...and for that she was loved by everyone she has ever known.

i remembered when i was younger,she would come to me and give me pocket money eventho mummy didnt like it very much.i never felt like a stranger around her.she always wanted to know my progress.she simply just cares.

i miss her....i cant even remember the last time i saw her.didnt have the chance to say goodbye.didnt have the chance to thank her.didnt have the chance to kiss her n hug her for the last time.i just hope i didnt disappoint her.i just hope she knows i'm feeling the loss eventho i'm so far away.i'm sure everyone will.

...mak ngah..julie janji julie pegi ziarah kubur mak ngah bile julie balik nanti...*al-fatihah*

lunch break

2007-03-07T13:42:00.000Z

its lunch time n i'm still at the office.couldnt bother goin down to get food.had too much munchies already.dat'll do for me lunch.no wonder i cant grow taller or bigger.i eat junk.oh well,juz as long as i'm full.

was at traffic last weekend.it was a good nite out.a few frens,good music,cheap cocktails....that was all we need.had a good laugh.

i've got class this evening...to go,or not to go...that is the question.dahla this morning i felt d urge of not goin to work.n kiki wasnt helping with her mengantuk face walking around d hse.i so wanted to go back to sleep..but i kept thinking,this year is goin to be a new year.no more malas malas.no more 'i wont be able to come in today bcos...err...i've got migrain'. kene btul2 baru padan muke...hahahahah...well maybe once in awhile ponteng would be ok i guess.

i think i'm gonna go down to centra...bole kacau razi.he seems to be killing himself working there. atleast i can entertain him a lil bit...

cuti sakit....yeah rite!

2007-02-28T09:12:00.000Z

another birthday has passed..but it doesnt make me any smarter,wiser,mature.so what have i achieved for the past 23 years??hmm...didnt do much thinking bout that.

anywayz,thanx for d midnite surprise.wasnt really expecting it.even with my absolute head spin dat nite,i still enjoyed it.thanx again guys!n alimin,i know u're reading dis...thanx for d companion in the time of need.really apprecite it buddy!dat gift is way better than anything anyone could give.

today decided to stay home.malas gile g keje.planning to find a new job.hopefully bole dpt la.malas dah nk kene harrasement.n the work load is unbareable.need a break.n to those at work..keje rajin2 yeh?japgi kite main email2....oh,n jgn jeles i'm at home lazing around!hahahaha

so mayam left.still havent accept d fact dat she's not coming back.i still think she's at her place cooking!hehe..havent heard from her since she left.hope she's doin fine.

tomorrow will be the first day of class.dont know if i'm ready.otak dah berkarat sgt dah nie.but have to go.the first class is always the most important..yeke?tak ke?

been getting feedbacks on this thingy..didnt know ppl were reading it in the first place.thanx!ade jugak org nk bace the thoughts of a weirdo like me.you know the saying,'i'm a lover not a fighter'?i guess for me,'i'm a writer not a fighter'.rhymes huh?i should be a poet!

time to go back editing my cv...

trick or treat?

2007-02-20T21:25:00.000Z

no..its not halloween.but it might as well be.what is this about??the obvious....HONESTY. whether u realise it or not,everybody plays this game.it could be about absolutely anything.so how do u know if someone is playing a trick on u or juz simply giving u a treat?
thats just it....u dont.u're lucky if its a treat..the hardest part would be when u realise that its only a trick.

how do u know if a gift is sincere?how do u know if sweet words r juz meant for sumthin in return?how do u know if an act of kindness comes from the heart or maybe just plain old guilt?YOU DONT.n when u come to realise all this,u become insecure.

so how do u deal?its either u juz accept the truth n juz dont giv a shit,or your bestfren; mr denial.

me?how bout all of the above?i mean,really,y do i need to bother even returning a good gesture when i know there's a hidden agenda.screw all the trust crap.to me its like an urban legend...u've heard bout it,but its juz a story.

am i not kind?i wouldnt say that i'm not.i wouldnt say i havent played the trick or treat game.i choose to not trust.i take whatever ppl say or give.i take whatever he says...but i dont believe..

am i bitter?not anymore.juz learning my lesson.take it from mr joey tribbiani 'there's no such thing as a selfless good deed'..

my heart melts...

2007-02-03T19:34:00.000Z

this has to be the cutest baby i've ever seen.makes me more eager to go home and hug him n kiss him.he's juz too adorable.how can u even say no to dat cute lil face....gawd, i juz cant wait to see him and spoil him like i did with the rest of my nephew n nieces.cepatla summer....nak balik!!!

R.I.P to the unknown

2007-01-28T22:09:00.000Z

she died..n yet to be reborn..
flashes of her life went thru her mind.things she was proud of..things she wasnt proud..everyting came thru her mind like a lightning.she asked for forgiveness..not sure to whom..then everything was a blank.she became tired,helpless,weak.her strongest muscle,the heart,became the weakest part of her body..she felt at ease.she felt peaceful.she didnt feel pain.she wasnt hurting.she didnt feel guilt.there was no more suffering.no more anger.no more hurt.this is where she wanted to be.
there was no betrayal.no one could touch her.no one could hurt her.no one could disappoint her.she could just lay there with no troubles in her mind.she was free...

as she was brought back to life,she became scared.she came to her senses.what had she done?what had she become?this was not her!she was smarter than this.she knew better than to take her own life.there were still little things to be proud of.there has to be.all she had to was forget about her pain.try to leave it behind.every cloud has a silver lining.all she had to do was look for that silver lining.and that will become her new purpose in life.that will be her challenge for her new life.

but can she do it?can she let the ppl around her tell that she cant?tell her that she's worth nothing?how would she handle rejection?how would she learn to trust again knowing that ppl around her had once betrayed her?how does one recover from a post-traumatic syndrom?

denial may be her best fren now.but for how long?sooner or later she would have to face the truth.the truth that she was once inhumane..how does she live with the embarrasement?how could she?

do not feel sorry for this girl.do not look at her and say 'maybe there's something we can do to help her'...becos honestly,she doesnt deserve to be helped.she's just so confused with her life.she doesnt know what she wants.she's just a mess.she's a freak.a lonely freak.she has to learn from her mistakes.if she doesnt learn,she'll never grow up.she's been given a second chance,and if she makes the same mistake again,then she doesnt deserve to have that chance.

sleep-o-holic becomes workoholic

2006-11-25T11:36:00.000Z

woahhhh....been AWHILE HUH??it's due to d lack of internet access n d whole moving-in n working here,there n everywhere.cant seem to find d time to actually sit n write.nie pun curik2 gune pc office....hehehe....lame huh??working on a saturday morning while i should actually be sleeping...i know i know....org gile je keje weekend.today kat office,sunday kat wallis plak. i'm not greedy, juz grabbing opportunities.

so i'm stuck here with paul.he's babbling away bout his family.but he seems nice enough.iskk..sakit otak tgk all these cheques!nie sumer nazar nye pasal...if it weren't for him, i wouldnt be here today.bukannye takleh buat on monday.but i juz can't bare looking at his bitter face if i called-in sick.takpela,i'll stay till 1,then ciao.

hmm...i know there seem to be a lot of gaps in between this entry n the previous. i pinky swear i'll update later.but probably not in the next 3weeks! ;P

good morning dublin,eire!

2006-08-31T08:16:00.000+01:00

cant believe i'm up already.today's my day off n i'm supposed to be catching up on my sleep.instead what do i do??all freshen up n ready to start d day.guess i'm used to waking up early in d morning n getting ready for work.since its so difficult for me to go back to sleep,decided to do a little writting.

todays event will include:

1.going to d tax office.dat reminds me i have to text hatta make sure he's awake.its a good thing we both hav d same day off.i'm juz too chicken shit to go there alone.

2.find boxes to pack up my stuff.i feel so lazy to clear up my stuff.cant i juz hire someone to do dat for me??sayang,how bout it?maybe i should juz dump all my stuff in 1 big luggage.d question is, muat ke?

3.n not forgetting to text elissa n tell her bout d rent.thank god she's agreed to take over my place.kalau x,satu hal pulak nak kene carik housemate baru.

i guess dats d 3 main things i hav to do today.cant believe i'm really moving out.gonna miss so many things@portobello. my housemates,my cute lil room,d events,d sounds n smell of dinner (since i'm directly next to d kitchen),d many MANY activities of running to londis for chocolates,ice cream n ciggies(so thankful of its location),d bus stop (takyah jln jauh2 nak naik bus)....juz so many things.cant believe its been almost a year.oh well,its not like i cant come n visit.
i'm kinda nervous moving out actually.btul ke nak pindah nie??juz hope my new housemates are ready to live with me.i can be a nuisance ;P everyone has their flaws rite?

mummy called last nite.she sed sumthing bout farhan coming here to do medicine.makin ramai lak family kat cni.but seems like an opportunity for me cos mummy can kirim barang AGAIN! hmmm...i wonder what i want dis time.i guess d no.1 thing..FOOD!speaking of food,i think i've put on some weight.weird huh?been working like mad,eating less i should be losing a few.takpelah,as long as i'm happy.

yes i am happy.i'm fully occupied with my life rite now.so occupied dat i dun even get to see d sun anymore,except for lunchtime.been spending less time with nazar.but sumhow,i'm ok with it.its not dat i dun see him at all,i still make time.walau penat mcm mane pun.but u'know whats d craziest part??he's moved out of bolton to live with hadi which is like a 4mins walk from my place,n i'm moving away to d city.bodo tak??hahahaha...we'll juz hav to compromise.

before i forget....SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA!!!!i kinda forgot actually until mummy reminded me.its not like there's gonna be a celebration or anything here.its juz like any other day so no biggie.

hmm...tomorow...1st sept.d reminder on my phone was buzzing.a MEANINGFUL date for me.i wonder if he remembers.maybe i'll text him for old times sake.

...running out of ideas...gettin a lil blurry...no!!no!!i cant go back to sleep.better change my playlist.all dis sappy love songs r making me sleepy....david morales...much better.helps me to move my feet a lil.

before i forget,i juz wanna wish all my frens starting their acca class today GOODLUCK N HAVE FUN!same goes to u sayang!blaja rajin2 k.its ur turn now.i'm juz taking a lil break.next yr kite study same2 k?

i better stop now..gotta start packing my stuff!

its been awhile ;)

2006-08-28T20:22:00.000+01:00

been awhile huh??yeah yeah..been so busy i dun even hav time to sit back n relax anymore.work is really getting to me.i'm also caught up with d moving out thingy rite now.hoping everything goes well.leceh btul nak pindah2 rumah nie.thank god i've found a replacement for my room.didnt think i'd find one so quickly.

i am glad bout one thing tho.nazar's back!what a relief!i was afraid he wouldnt be back here.but all is well now.its good to hav him back.what a nice surprise him showing up at d door without any warning.altho,one 'drunken' little bird had blurted out he was coming home...hehehe

was at the world cultural festival.sgt2 meriah!tp yg tak bestnye hujan.d dance show was really good.i was entertained.

funny huh?i havent blog for weeks n now i cant even think of anything to write about.my mind's a total blur.or perhaps i'm in need of some sleep before i can really pour my heart out.how bout a ciggie instead?dats probably it.gonna take a ciggie break!

another not-so-interesting entry

2006-08-18T20:04:00.000+01:00

juz got home from work.i'm so exhausted!bile hours nak kurang nie?!?!cant stand working frm opening till closing.cant believe dis week's almost over.i've been so caught up with my job didnt realise how time flies so fast.
had my day off yesterday.decided to spend it with hatta,min n razi.yup!managed to persuade min to take d day off as well.konon demam la..hahaha..went walking around town.see whats new.nuthin much really.juz dat d weather is starting to change.i hate d cold!i hate it dat i hav to wear a jacket when i leave d house.
bought myself sumthin to boost my ego.but unfortunately,its still at hatta's place.still waiting for him to come over n bring my new toy.so excited bout it!cepatla hatta,dah x saba2 dah nie!

watched a movie last nite...stay alive..pretty scary.closed my eyes a few times.dahla tgk mlm.but manage to forget bout it on the way home.kalau tak,mesti mengigau punye.

kiki's back.cant wait to go see her.she's probably sleeping rite now.i'll probably see her on sunday since its my day off.dat reminds me i hav to spend d nite at mayam's place saturday nite.apela aku nie..patut cuti dok rumah..nie dok tido rumah org pulak.oh well,dats d only time i'll get to see other ppl.

havent talked to nazar for days now.couldnt reply his msgs since my credit is running way below average...hehehe..hope everything's well.n hoping to see him again by monday.x sabanye!!i miss him terribly :( cant wait to hear all d stories he's gonna bring back.

i better go take a shower.mane hatta nie??nape lambat sgt dtg?dahla besok keje kul 9.mlm nie kene tido awal!

obssesion with imran putra iskandar putra

2006-08-14T19:23:00.000+01:00

nazar went to meet my parents today.gawd,i'm so jealous!!!i juz miss them so much..he even got to meet my new nephew,imran.he's such a beautiful baby boy.thanx sayang for sending those pix.dat really made my day!suddenly all d stress from work juz faded away juz seeing imran.

i wonder what mummy thinks of nazar.wanna call her later n ask.he even met ayah as well.dats a challenge...hehehe...wait till he meets rizal.jgn kencing dlm slua dah la...hahaha...

work today was terrible.been doin overtime for almost a week now.thanx karen for letting me go early today.kesian dat new gurl kene duduk sorang2.oh well,i've been doin it for a week.i'm sure she can too.

probably be goin to razi's place later.btul ke mamat nie nak masak??jgn sakit perut sudah la..gonna take a super duper long hot shower after this.my whole body is juz too damm tired.i really need to relax.better go mandi now

happy child :)

2006-08-14T01:13:00.000+01:00

exam's over!!now i can breath easily.i am so thankful to hatta n razi for 'teman'ing me d nite before my exam.u both kept me at ease eventho inside i was screaming 'TAKUTNYE!!' thanx for keeping me in one piece.thanx for taking care of me.its juz what i needed.
everything is goin pretty well for me,except for d fact dat i hav to work almost everyday!cant handle d long hours.i mean seriously,who works for 12 fuckin hrs?!?!?well,atleast i had a great weekend.i feel like i'm back to being my own self again.absolutely NO WORRIES..yeeehhhaaaa!!

i think d most important thing that made me feel happy,is when i talked to mummy just now.seems dat she's already found out bout my 'stolen' money by dat 'certain' ungrateful friend.i'm glad dat she's not angry.she juz feels sorry for me cos i've been betrayed by someone so close.she feels guilty as well.but d past is in d past.d only thing we can do now is ask for d money back.there's no way dat 'person' can escape now.u can run but u cant hide.i know where u live!

there's been a delay on nazar's flight dis coming weekend.yup,he's already been gone for a week.time flies so fast huh?but becos of d bomb threats in london,he'll probably be coming back here a little later...sedih btul la!i miss not having him around dis weekend.it would've been so much fun.guess i juz hav to be patient.keep myself occupied.so its good dat i hav a job now.eventho its juz a stupid job,but atleast i get paid pretty good.yeayy!!dah bole hidup sendiri.i am capable of being independent after all!juz hope i get to keep dis job as long as i want.

what am i doin??i'm suppose to be asleep by now.sok kene bangun pagi.nie gara2 nak telefon nye pasal la nie.time difference can be a bitch huh?goodnite world!

exam fever AGAIN!

2006-08-09T18:42:00.000+01:00

got home a lil early today.cant really handle 10hrs of work for 3 days straight.i feel like my legs are about to fall off.but inspite all d heavy work,i still enjoyed being with d other staff.they seemed frenly enuff.tho 1 of 'em is gay.wasnt really surprised tho cos he does seem a lil different.but i wasnt sure at first.but when he confessed the other day dat he was gay,it didnt come as a shock to me.but it did feel a lil weird being around him.dun get me wrong,i hav nuthin against them,its juz dat i havent really been dis close before.

got home around 230 n talked to nazar a lil bit.believe it or not..he does know how to use d internet....hahaha!i guess seeing me online almost all d time has paid off.
took a lil nap after dat cos i was really tired.woke up around 6.took a shower n folded some of my clothes.truth is,my room is total mess right now.havent got d time to actually clean.i've been so busy lately.maybe when my exam is over,i'll get them organized.

exam...dats rite!tomorow will be the death sentence for me.dunno if i'm prepared.i dun think i am.tonite is gonna be a VERY late nite for me.thank god i'm working in d evening.or else i'll deffinately be dead.cant really cover everything.covering bits n pieces of d topic.juz hoping dat'll be enuff to get thru tomorow.please do pray for me!
alrighty,better get started on my tax.cant waste anymore time.

serabut

2006-08-06T21:21:00.000+01:00

yesterday was so hectic for me.but a HUGE thanx to mayam,kay,aa,poknik n amelia for keeping me calm.there's no way i can ever repay them for what they've done.i feel a lil better today.

called all my frens n family today.i juz miss them so much.everyone seems to be in one piece.well,everyone but me.but i'm trying to keep it together.i have to..

talked to nazar.good to know he's safe at home.he seems happy enuff.who wouldnt be right?i'd kill to be with my family.i know he's not so happy cos i'm slacking on my studies.i really am trying la sayang.things would be easier if u were here.

i'm gonna be working at blanchards tomorow.seriously malas!!tax x abis cover lg.i'm running out of time.i'm seriously freaking out.how am i suppose to juggle 2 things at once?!?!dahla i screwed up with razi plak today.it was totally my fault.i'm such a bad fren.susah btul la when things dont go my way.jadik serabut gile!

i better be doin my tax dr nak layan emo2 nie.not doin any good to me pun.i really want dis week to be over quickly!

the day he went away

2006-08-05T16:41:00.000+01:00

cant believe he left dis morning :(( it was so hard not to beg him to stay.he juz had to go.keep telling myself it'll only be for 2weeks.i'll be bz with work i wont even realise it.but i can feel it now dat sumthing's missing.i've been so used to having him around everyday.then juz like dat he's gone.d only thing i can look forward to now is my job n my exam on thursday.but what happens when i come home??it'll be all quiet without him making me laugh.dat'll be no one to argue with.no one to give me a simple hug or a kiss..gawd,i feel so blue.

i know i should use this time without him to see my frens.juz hangout n see how they're doin.but i'm juz not in d mood for talking or having a good laugh.i need sumthin to make me relax.sumthin to make me feel at ease.sumone to convince me dat he'll be back before i know it.

gawd,i feel so ridiculous.he hasnt been gone for 12hours n i'm already babbling bout how miserable i am.its juz pathetic,stupid n irrational.c'mon julie,u're stronger than this.

anywayz,today's my first day on the job at all saints.it was basically juz briefing on what i'm gonna do n signing stuff.could barely stay awake cos i didnt get any sleep last nite since i had to send nazar to d airport.d real job starts on monday.wish me luck!
audit paper pretty much sucked!dunno if i hav any confidence on what i answered.crossing my fingers!
gonna start on tax tonite.i'm gonna be so busy with work i dunno if i hav d time to study.ngok btul la supervisor tu.dah ckp dah yg aku nak start next weekend.tak paham simple english ke?!?!?!i juz hav to be smart on time management.or else i'll be dead by thursday.juz wanna get d exams over with.

was supposed to go to merrion square for sum performance thingy goin on.juz not in d mood for dat rite now.i'll probably go over to mynn's place n spend d nite there.both of us r on d same boat.tax sux!

mummy called a few times this week.giving me all d support i need.thanx mummy.i'm trying,REALLY.she'll be meeting nazar for d first time in a couple of days.am hoping dat she likes him.i hope he shows a good impression to mummy n ayah n especially to rizal.i really want their approval cos nazar means d world to me.i want them to accept him d way i did.

sayang,juz want u to know dat i'm all messed up without u.didnt think it'd be dis hard.dun forget ur promise k?i'll be here waitin for ya!

4 more days to go!

2006-07-31T11:58:00.000+01:00

another weekend passed..was mostly filled with good food.laksa...nasi lemak with sambal sotong...yummy!feels like home..

had a lil get together at swifthall for amir's bday.funny thing was,i didnt even get to c him cos it was gettin late n i had to walk home by myself.nasib baik la ade si supir tu...heheeh...

got a call from mummy...i miss her!everyone's celebrating ayah's bday at home.they made a surprise dinner for him...sedih nye i'm not there :(( thank god i remembered to wish him last night.dun wanna be an ungrateful daughter especially after all he's done for me.am wishing both mummy n ayah to come visit me here.

nazar's goin back to msia dis weekend.havent really thought on what i'm gonna do when he's away.thing is,i dun think i even realise dat he's REALLY goin.its like the words go straight in my head,but it doesnt seem to be processing.it hasnt hit me yet that i'm gonna be alone for d next 2weeks!maybe the time will come when i see him leave.

ok...so audit paper will be on friday.dunno if i'm prepared.i have to get thru dis time no matter what.takutnyee...

frustrated!!

2006-07-27T21:08:00.000+01:00

ok so i'm officially frustrated..my exam's in a week.havent started on tax.cant understand shit bout audit.n i dunno what's goin on wit my assignment.everything's juz so screwed up.n i'm suppose to submit d stupid assignment tomorow.everything's goin haywire!
n i havent come to d worst part yet!

i so fuckin hate being ALONE at home!!!i cant think.

oh wait...my luck juz changed!i'm a bit relieved now.thank u mat!!u've made my burden a lil less.dats probably d best news i've had.

but still..dat doesnt change d fact dat i'm still alone n miserable.i wanna go out but theres juz no where to go at dis hour.its getting dark n i hate staying alone in d dark.maybe i should take a walk.get outta d house a lil bit.but i hate d thought dat when i come back home,it'll be to an empty house..

i'm so not in d mood for him today.to think i actually waited d whole day for him.n all dat was juz a waste of time.i hate it when he does dis.i hate it when there's no one to talk to.i hate it when there's no one to cheer me up.

dats it!i'm gettin out of d house!

happy bday a'a gemok!

2006-07-26T13:23:00.000+01:00

so yesterday we had a nice chinese dinner to celebrate a'a gemok's bday.food was good.i was bloated...think i might have put on some weight!there was even a karaoke!i didnt dare to try it cos my voice sux.the rest seems to be having fun singing their heart out.what a good way to release some stress.
me n razi had to look for d bday cake which was so damm difficult cos mayam requested a cake dat has sumthin to do with donald duck.yes...a'a is a donald duck figure now!hahahahah!so anywayz,went high n low looking for d cake but couldnt find what she wanted.dahla suruh me n razi yg carik..n knowing d both of us yg sgt penakut n dun know where everything is!so we had to settle for sumthing much more 'interesting'.sumthin dat ALSO symbolises him.n i think we did a pretty good job!
dinner was fun,everyone was happy n d most important,a'a looked happy seeing dat all of us were there.he should be thankful his sister pulled off sumthin like dis.so here's to u bday boy!hope u had a blast last nite!

more than words

2006-07-24T12:05:00.000+01:00

this weekend had been filled with ups n downs...probably caused by mood swings?i dunno...i can go all bubbly at 1 time,n juz suddenly lose it in a second.

friday nite,was supposed to be at mayam's place...made dinner for nazar,then et zhu n ifa datang...watched one tree hill,n ended up NOT going to mayam's place.not my fault tho.i wanted to get out of d house after a whole week of being stranded alone...pist...

saturday morning,woke up REALLY early.went for a jog at stephen green's park...pancit,semput,sesat....havent really exercised for quite sum time now.d last time would probably be when i was in msia...n dats like 2 months back!i felt like my heart was gonna pop out.n d worst,i actually got lost at d park!hahahah...i know it sounds funny.all u gotta is juz go 1 whole round.but there juz seems to be so many pathways along d way.
after jogging,went home took a shower,nazar cooked lunch.YES,HE HAS D ABILITY TO COOK.i guess d both of us r not useless after all. :) anyways,had lunch n layan one tree hill again.its never ending huh??thanx to hatta for bringing back d dvd.now we're both addicts!
later in d evening had drinks with alimin,hatta n atan at the church.dun worry,its not like what it sounds...hmm..actually its exactly like what it sounds.juz dat its no longer a church.

saturday nite,was off to mayam's after the church.had a lil get together to celebrate aa's bday.ppl was starting to fill up d place around 10.everyone seems to be in d party mood...but i'm juz not there.i think my mind was still stuck in reality.but i juz went with it.i like being around them,but parties r juz not d right activity for me now.wanted to leave by 11pm,but ppl kept holding me back.ended up goin back at 4am...WALKING!didnt joined d after party at bolton.juz wanted to go home no matter what.but i actually enjoyed d walk...my mind felt at ease.but once i got home,trus pengsan..my head was a lil dizzy...probably bcos d absinthe was juz kicking in.screw dat..i need my beauty sleep!

sunday morning,more like sunday afternoon!no breakfast,juz straight away lunch.wanted to stay in,but promised mayam d nite before i'd come over.maybe she was still asleep since d kids left late last nite.but got a call from aa around 2..asking where d hell me n nazar were.so got my ass up n took a shower.took me like 3 hours to actually get ready n get out of d house...malas nak bergerak....
my mood for yesterday was totally off.i can figure out y but i juz dun wanna say it out loud.was feeling all blue d whole time at mayam's place.poknik kept saying my face mcm muke ketat :) physically,i was there but my mind was sumwhere else.everything i hear became an annoyance. i wanted to be sumwhere quiet.sum place where no one can find me.i wanted to disappear.
didnt feel like talking,not even to nazar.i think most of my emotional strike juz went out to him.the cause?probably better left unsaid.
however,dinner was good tho.aa made steak.compliments to d chef!walaupun tgh stone...heheh
got home around midnite.went straight to bed.wanted d day to be over.hoping today wont be as bad.am forgetting whatever happened yesterday.

main masak masak

2006-07-21T11:04:00.000+01:00

my attempt to masak kari was a success.i'd say i didnt do dat bad at all.pretty good for a first timer actually.i didnt burn anything..hehhe...puji diri sendiri plak...mane tak nye...i'm not one to be in d kitchen.so i guess all dis time on my own is not a complete waste after all.i'm starting to learn how to cook..give urself a pat on d back :)

when boredom strikes

2006-07-17T08:10:00.000+01:00

yes..i'm at home ALONE...AGAIN!sedih..sob sob.trying to go back to sleep but seems really difficult.so much on my mind...tax..audit..whether i like it or not,gotta start today.no more excuses.

watched nazar played futsal yesterday.better luck next time dear!same goes to team malaysia b.u guyz r good..juz not good enuff for d mat saleh yg berbadan besar mcm nak main rugby..

d rest of d troops are back from berlin.they seem to hav had a blast.saw d pictures..so damm jealous.wishing i was there.keep telling myself there's always next year.

wanted to register for acca the other day but would be a waste of time n money since i wont be taking d december sitting.gotta start finding a job after d exams.anyone care to help me out??

ameer's back.but havent had d time to actually hangout.he's probably bz anyways.or am i juz not making myself available to others??hmm....y am i being so selfish?i hav so much time on my own n yet i choose to sit alone n make myself invisible from d real world.

woke up in d middle of d nite...heard noises...tikus atau pencuri??didnt hav d guts to check it out.pretended to go back to sleep but d noise still kept bugging me.checked on things dis morning...roti x berlubang..laptop ade lagi...probably juz d wind outside blowing on dried leaves. imagination can really play a trick or two in ur head.

oh yeah...i'm a recently a proud aunt AGAIN...was so happy when mummy told me d news.imran putra...nice name...cant wait to see my new nephew.my mum was probably jumping up n down :))well..i was!its juz such a bummer dat i'm not there...i'm so into babies!!btul x sayang??

been begging for a cat from nazar....even hav a name for it already.tp kene tggu he's stable first then only we can adopt one.tak saba laarr....i wanna manjekan dat cat like my baby kitty.bagi dia gemok sampai obese...hahahah.i remember the vet once told me dat my cat needs to diet.nanti bole kene heart attack...how cute is dat??kucing pun bole kene heart attack...i know i know...its no joke.

btw,my phone's screwed thanx to a certain sumone yg jatuhkan my phone tue....taula mcm kotak mancis....tp jgnla sampai dengki sgt buat phone tu jahanam... i'm currently unable to connect to d outside world...but i'm trying to improvise..sumbat kertas dlm phone so dat simcard x longgar..sounds like a nokia trick huh??hahahahah

been smoking a lot these days...i know its not good for me..trying to drop a few of my bad habits...one at a time.atleast i've slowed down partying.dats gotta count for sumthin rite?gotta start living healthy.i remembered mazuki's last words....jage diri kau baik2..him saying dat to me by looking at me straight in the eye juz hits me directly to d heart.gawd,i miss my frens back home.i'm wearing a piece of ain around my neck.there's no way i'm taking it off.eventho nazar doesnt like it,i couldnt care less.did i make a mistake coming back here???

dublin welcomes me back

2006-07-11T09:28:00.000+01:00

ok..so i'm back in dublin.never thought it'd b dis bored.mane tak nye...everyone's working!so i'm left all alone wif nuthin to do.am supposed to be studying by now,but i'm currently injured.cant concentrate.d pain is juz too excruciating.cant even sleep.all i'm capable of is taking a drag of a ciggie...dat too isnt doin so good since i'm having a painful cough n sorethroat.dis month juz aint too good for me.

but atleast i have him in my arms again... :) cant explain on how thrilled i am juz to be with him.no need for words...juz actions.dats all dat matters.

been listening to d same song over n over again dis morning.juz has so many meanings...it says what i feel.

had sushi yesterday thanx to kay n a'a.was really good!minus d wasabi..yergh!it felt like a bomb exploaded in my brain!
it was good seeing all those ppl again.they havent change one bit.juz closer than ever.dats juz what i need.ppl who care.i'm in need of those rite now seeing all the things i've been thru for d past 2 months.i'm able to forget but not sure whether i can forgive...its gonna take time....a lot of time.

am suppose to be at mynn's place about 2 days ago.but havent able to walk to her place.its juz too far...n d thought of walking alone is juz so...blergh!

iskk...bile la nak kul 7 nie..cepatla balik sayang..i guess dis is how its gonna be like for me everyday now since nazar started his work.i make use of d lil time we hav when he comes home from work.i look forward to d weekend.dats d only time i get to spend d whole day with him.cant seem to let him go since i got back.i juz miss him so much while i was away.i guess u tend to appreciate d things u have even more when it's not in front of u.

eventho it feels good to be back,i'm already starting to miss d ppl at home...i know its only been a few days,but home is still home.nuthin can take it away from u.i dunno when i'll be back again.

better start flipping thru my notes...not much time left.dun wanna make d same mistake twice!juz gotta bare with d pain rite now...

all set but not ready to go..

2006-07-04T18:41:00.000+01:00

well...tonite will be my last nite sleeping on my own bed...kinda sad..whether i like it or not,i still hav to leave tomorow....less than 24hrs..

had a nice dinner with my family.i told my dad 'strictly malay food'.my wish was granted.all was good..everyone was happy..i was happy.thank you ayah!felt so bloated after dinner...

went out for my last lepak with my frens...ain,sha,wan,mazuki,fadil,rina,ika,mort,mong...really gonna miss u guyz...especially d first 4.u guyz hav been my life line.was hard saying goodbye.was hard to actually get my ass up n leave.cant believe its been almost 2months.

tomorow i'll be rushing here n there.its gonna be my last day of work.promised to hav lunch with maz.hav to make time.didnt get to say a proper goodbye to din.he's in pd..juz a simple phone call.dat'll do..

so disappointed nazar wont be picking me up...thank god for razi or else i'll be all alone at d airport not knowing what to do n where to go.when will i ever learn to be independent?there's always sumone who'll look out for me.juz shows dat ppl do care bout me.hav to wait for atleast 8hrs before i get to see nazar when i arrive.what da hell am i gonna do till then???

my packing's not done yet..my stuff are all over d place.cant seem to get myself organized.juz hope everything goes well by tomorow evening.dun want any setbacks.i tend to really freak out when sumthing goes wrong.

ok...time for bed...gonna get a good nite sleep...

bbq

2006-07-01T18:10:00.000+01:00

juz got back from din's place.had some bbq thingy..kekenyangan...hmm..went with sha cos there's no way i'm gonna go to his house alone.d journey to get there is juz too damm creepy.mcm masok hutan belantara..with no street lights n no proper road.i think i hav to get a 4x4 juz to go to his place...cian my pikachu...

as usual,mesti kene up with mong,mort,maz n din...takpe...aritu dah kenekan korang.now its ur turn.besides,lepas nie dah tak kene dah..so bring it on guys!aku terime saje..
d food was good.enjoyed the HUGE udang..silap sbb dtg lambat...

before dat went to nz,lepak minum with lan..last lepak before i go back.sambil2 tu layan af skali.dis yr mmg tak ikut langsung..remember all the times we spent watching af at my hse,wan?sha siap vote sms lagi..fanatic gile...hehehe..

tomorow midvalley...urghh...malas gile...hoping rofit will make our job easy.kalau x,campak je dlm tong sampah terdekat.
oh n tomorow maybe gonna watch a movie with kamil.only saw him once since i was back.tu pun like 10mins je cos he dropped by my house.

my stuff still x settle lagi.kelam kabut dah ni..kinda sad cos nazar wont be picking me up...he's d first person i wanna see...its so hard now since he's working already.seems to be busy all d time.no time for me dah :((

think i'm gonna hit d sack..nothing better to do...nite nite!

goodbye...again?

2006-07-01T10:29:00.000+01:00

i have so little time left,yet still so many unfinished business.dun even know where to begin.by this time next week,everything will be left behind.by this time next week,i'll go back living on my own.sounds scary..i am back to being scared.but atleast,i have ppl i can trust.

by this time next week,all d heartache,anger,disappointment..will be forgotten.u cant win 'em all.all i can do is juz leave them behind.but i've learned not to turn back.never thought being betrayed by a fren would be this hurtful.but that will all be in the past.

juz a few more days..cant begin to express how i'd hate leaving d ppl i love d most here.everything i have n need is here.everyone i love is here.they make it so hard for me to go.be strong julie...this is just a test for u.

eventho there was so much drama while i was here,i'm still thankful dat it all happened.eventho i lost a fren,atleast i wont be fooled anymore.atleast sumthin good came out of dis catastrophe.i juz have to think positive about it.

so whether i'm ready or not..i'm still gonna go.thank u to everyone who has made some free time to see me.i appreciate all d little things u've done for me.i dunno when i'll be back again.but i know it wont be soon.

my only regret is for not spending much time with my family.i've been such an idiot.never knew dat time flies so fast.i'll juz hav to use dis little time left to make up for it.

...sayang,i'm coming home....

ARRGGHHHHH!!!!!!

2006-06-27T17:34:00.000+01:00

arghh...i still cant get over it!!!y do bad things happen to good ppl??i dun think i can forgive u..cant even look at u..
my hands r trembling..i feel so angry i could juz slap u in d face!i dunno whats holding me back.u dun deserve to be called a fren.atleast not mine!i fucking HATE YOU!u've ruined a perfectly good frenship.

thief+lie+cheat+dishonest=friend

2006-06-27T09:08:00.000+01:00

how do u react when suddenly u find out dat ur bestfren whom u've known n trusted for years, has been dishonest with you all along??u'd probably tell urself dat its not true...dat u're juz imagining things..dats what i've been telling myself..but how wrong was i!

it started out with little things..like my clothes..i didnt mind at first cos i thought i'd get it back.but instead,i never saw it again.then came d mystery of d disappearance of my money.it started out small like 10bucks...then it went to 50..n d worst...almost 600euros!i didnt notice it at first cos i thought i must hav misplaced it,but when i started to frequently losing money,i realised dat it wasnt juz in my head.to think i actually blamed my maid for taking it when clearly i didnt think she was d kinda girl who does dis kinda things.

i didnt wanna point fingers cos dat person is one of my bestfren.i didnt think she was capable of doing such things.tho i did hav doubts bout it.there was always sumthin missing when dat person hangs around me.dats what got me suspicious.but still i didnt wanna bring any of dis up to anyone.cos i might be wrong bout it.so i let it slipped.

but recently,my other frens hav been telling me dat they hav d same problem as well.i was so shocked..turns out i wasnt imagining it.i got so furious!!how could dat person do dis to US??after all we've done to help when dat person was in need.i didnt wanna approach dat person bout dis cos i didnt wanna cause any confrontations between us.the thing is,i'd probably expload if i raise dis issue with dat person.how can i even trust dat person anymore!??!d only way is to keep my distance.dun wanna get too close anymore.dat person has been taking advantage of me,not to mention stealing as well.

cant believe my dad fired d maid...i had a feeling it wasnt her.she was wrongly accused.juz wish i could take it back,then she'd still be here.instead d culprit was sumone close.how can i not see it then??dat person knew dat d money was for my house in dublin...bukannye sikit....dia ingat duit jatuh dr langit ke?!?!?!i feel so fucking ANGRY!!

y do u do dis to me?i have done nothing wrong but be a good fren to u.i dun think i can ever trust u again.u owe me an apology.if u hav d courage to confess n apologize,i'd still consider it.u trully have a problem..all u gotta do is talk to us,ur frens, not lie,cheat n steal from us.i hope u realize dat what u've done has absolutely change d way i see u.i'm still hoping u'd return everything that u've taken from me..n u better be thankful dat i didnt mention ur name here!

missing

2006-06-26T13:10:00.000+01:00

gonna meet mimie n hanna sum time dis week..or izzit tonite?seriously tak larat.didnt get to hav my beauty sleep..actually afternoon nap,today.watched da vinci code...AKHIRNYA!i'm so into d treasure hunt thingy..clues were bloody confusing...i'm so NOT a code breaker.but i like every bit of d movie.

ptg td g makan roti tisu with d trouble quadruple + wan.it was so disappointing.dikayu jugak sedap.i think d best so far.susah btul nak kene g area danau kota.

yesterday jumpe din buaya....hahaha...kau mmg dah GEMOK!!but i juz dun get d idea of him with all d beard n mustache...nak nampak tua ke?well,he seems happy enuff.dats good..tapi whatever it is he will still be THE BUAYA....(nak emphasis skit)

other than lepaking with d same ppl everyday,i basically baring on my oh-so-comfy bed n menghadap laptop.nuthin else better to do.so looking forward for d trip next month.tp ape2 hal pun results kene lepas dulu...4 more days to go till judgement day.i'm totally shaking...but i'm already expecting d worst.juz dunno how mummy will take d news.kene buat muke cute la jawabnye...

really dun hav much to do rite now...i'm starting to hav a headache from d heat..it stopped raining in d evening nowadays.tido ptg pun peluh2..slurpee is d best cure..no doubt.sampai sakit2 tekak n brain freeze!but still lovin it..

LONG day

2006-06-23T18:14:00.000+01:00

waaahh...today so penat.mane taknye,asik berjalan je.mostly becos of d world cup thingy.nasib baik d job is easy..
pas keje pulak g wax..then g makan cake...FINALLY!!but couldnt get d cake i wanted,dah abis :(
then on d way balik stuck in jam pulak.n then hujan lebat sum more.tensyen ..tensyen..

juz now went to hartamas n met up with ameer,alia,abu n fatin.its been awhile meeting dubliners.forgot how much fun we had..probably too much fun sampai study pun tunggang langgang...heheh..d place was so crowded..mane taknye,bola here,there n everywhere.naik muntah nak denga pasal bola dah.

tomorow genting!yippiee!!finally sum place cold.dah ler kl nie panas..dah naik hitam dah.penat je tak klua rumah all dis while.takde hasil btul.

also,maybe gonna meet hatta again tomorow..dah nak balik dublin dah..holiday kejap sgt la.altho he's having some technical difficulties nak balik.i hope dia postpone his flight back.bole lepak lame skit.

i'm really tired rite now...but tak bole tido yet cos d stupid shooting is still going on.dun they know that ppl want to sleep?!?!please GO HOME!!!HAVENT U HAD ENUFF?!?!?i'll probably take a short nap......zzzzzzzzz

3 cheers for d germans!

2006-06-21T11:28:00.000+01:00

got a call from ain no.2 yesterday..if all goes well,i'll be going to pulau perhentian next month...wohoooo!!!tak saba nye...mynn jgn jeles..ireland punye beach mmg sux...instead of sand,they have rocks...hahaha...boring!btw,soriela ain cos terjerit-jerit dlm phone smlm...excited sgt sampai terlupe diri...ahahah

also,felt so motivated to work yesterday cos i got my first pay.waaaahhh....terus smangat berkobar kobar utk kerje dgn lebih tekun.but i plan to keep d money to bring back with me nanti.shopping kat sane best skit.i juz realized dat everything is so expensive here.

after work ingat nak g waxing,but felt dead tired so decided to postpone it.tido la jawabnye..

oohh....had nasi lemak lentok for dinner..its so damm SEDAP...thanx wan for introducing it to me.ain pun first timer makan situ ckp sedap.lan n ajeep joined us as well.after dat,we all went to hartamas to watch germany v ecuador.thank god d germans won.or else lan,hafiz n ain would be all over me...heheheheh..oh did i mention i think d germans look hot? ;)

hmm...smlm ain sed sumthin bout eating secret receipe..rite now i'm so craving for it.darn it!we'll c if i can gather d energy to actually get my ass out of bed.speaking of ass...yes,i know i dun hav any.had a couple advise on how to boost ur ass.sedihla..ppl r starting to notice its non existance :(( is it cos i'm losing weight ke ape?takpela,i'll try mazuki's advise on doing dat exercise thingy.

p.s razi,please dun be so stressed out..relax adikku...everything will be juz fyne.exam je,not d end of d world.no worries dear!good luck!

today's mood=not so good

2006-06-18T09:50:00.000+01:00

y izzit so hard to please ppl??i mean...juz when u think u've pushed urself to do a little better than u anticipated,but sumhow u still get shot down.its juz so frustrating when u know dat u've out done urself,but other ppl juz refuse to see that.so whats d point of even trying if u're not appreciated?i really hate dis feeling...of not being good enough.a simple thanx would deffinately do.instead,i get complaints.....blerghhh!!!!i'm so sick of it.

so screw it..y should i even think of doing good to ppl when i get nothing in return.y do i even try?

happy bday imelda n ina

2006-06-17T15:28:00.000+01:00

had a nice get together with frens at my hse today.it was basically cos of my niece's n sister's bday party.so i took d opportunity to gather my close frens for free food.they all seem to enjoy d food.well,so did i.dah kembung perut dah.makan sampai x larat.too bad sha n ain had to leave early.maz,mort,mong n efan came a bit later.penat nak layan pemuda2..asik kene up je ngan dorang.taula aku dah lame tak jumpe korang....fine fine...they all gang up on me.kene buli plak ngan dorang arini.but it was fun actually.

btw,arini keje curik tulang...hehehe...nak buat caner kalau dah kat area bukit bintang...jalan2 je tetibe cam rase nak masuk kedai.try2la baju sumer...hahaha...nasib baik la supervisor tak nampak.sayang,i got d thing u wanted...but it's still incomplete.but i promise u it's very very nice.
so ended up, d back of my car is full of worldcup edition papers.buat sampah je..takpela...anta kat paper lama la...bleh dpt duit.

called nazar juz now..ingat emergency la sgt...rupe2nye saje je.penatla aku pegi kedai beli idd card sumer...takpela...anything for him.now i hav to wait for him to call back...cptla sayangku,i dah ngantuk nie..

okla...time to mandi...tp cam malas pun ade gak.basuh muke jela...heheh

PUURFECT DAY!

2006-06-15T17:49:00.000+01:00

today has been an absolute GREAT day for me!!!well,minus d job being in klang today..urgh!!no one can be happier than me...

ain did a surprise today...SHE'S HOME!!dats right!!d crazy gurl from melbourne is home...i was so thrilled.couldnt wait to get off work juz to see her..finally,d 4 of us are back together again juz like old times!

hatta is in kl!gawd,i wasnt sure when's d next time i was gonna c him again.i didnt know it was dis SOON.

when i got home,got a card from nazar...i miss him too damm much.d card was really sweet.thank u my sayang...n thanx for d gift.i'll try to find d perfect 'one' for u...hehehe...i read d card over n over again...cant wait to be with him again.

ain came over in d evening...dah gemok skit.dats good..went to sg wang,met up with hatta,his brothers n fren...never thought i'd b close to hatta like dis.i remember being so terrified of him d first time we met.nampak cam org tua yg garang...tp rupe2nye same je prangai....heheheh

after dat,we all had dinner sumwhere behind sucasa.hatta's fren ajak shisha.hung out a lil bit...laugh laugh laugh....bocor rahsie hatta...hehehe...then headed to patek's place n jumpe wan.i really miss juz hanging out with these ppl....sha,ain,aishah,wan,patek...tho a few were missing.i feel like my holiday is complete...well,except for one....nazar...i so need him badly.

right now i'm dead tired...been moving around d whole day.but it was worth it.i get to see all d ppl i care about.no regrets!

:D

2006-06-14T15:50:00.000+01:00

yeayy!!nazar's coming back next month...3 more weeks!!i'm so thrilled..cant stop jumping up n down..cant wait to see him again..sian dia..not feeling very well...couldnt recognise his voice.dun work too hard la my dear..

tired n sleep yawn

2006-06-13T15:29:00.000+01:00

today work was only for an hour since it was raining like cats n dogs.but still i get paid 40bucks.sweet huh?i'm starting to love dis job.dah la i get to hav fun with my frens,n sambil2 tu cuci mata skali.n also polish my ppl skills.byk jugak advantage keje nie..

balik rumah as usual tido..eventho keje main2 but d tiredness mcm keje buruh.gotta have some discipline!lama sgt duduk goyang kaki...

had mcd for dinner..makan dekat pondok depan rumah with aishah.really nice.a touch of kampung...peaceful with d sound of water.bagus jugak mummy n ayah renovated d house.where can u find a place like dis in d middle of kl??

was suppose to watch the oc but wan came over.g lepak minum at melawati.tak habis2 gelak...there's not a day that i'd feel bored with him.

a lil disappointed cos hatta wont be coming to kl dis weekend.he's gonna go visit his sister.cant argue with dat.family comes first.takpe...still a lot of time.

tonite nak tido awal.been trying to sleep early these past few days but there's always something in d way.nie plak i hav to wait for aishah to come back.dats y lah ptg je tido cam org gile..i really need some time on my own.straight myself out.i'm always so tired.makan pun dah tak betul.my mission when i came back was to eat as much as possible.tapi sama je..pe la nak jd ngan aku nie??

welcome home hatta malik :)

2006-06-11T10:24:00.000+01:00

had to wake up early dis morn..picking up hatta at d airport.dahla smlm tido lambat lg courtesy of nazar.havent talked to him for days!i juz miss him way too much.susah la time difference..then mayam plak call...seriously tak larat nak borak with her.so sorie dear,i takut i tak bangun.

so anywayz,i woke up at 5am.took a shower.muke still terpinga pinga.got a msg from nazar asking me to kutip hatta kat airport.kesian aishah n sha kene bangun awal skali cos i asked them to teman me.lgpun we gotta go to work at 11am.
it was raining heavily all d way to d airport.my head was still sleeping while driving.dangerous gile!
arrived at d airport around 630am.waited for hatta but no sign of him.started to get worried.pastu tetibe plak nature calls.tensyen btul.nasib baik la toilet kat klia tu bersih.dahla i dun like going to public toilets.i had to make an exception.

klua2 toilet je,my frens went missing.rupa-rupanye kat luar with d mr madhatter..waaahh,i was so thrilled to see him.mmg rindu giler la.bak kate org,mmg terubat la rase rindu di hati...hehehhe...ceeewwaahhhh!gave him a HUGE HUG.dahla dia still under influence.bahaye gile travel in dat condition.but he looked good.not much changes.

took him for breakfast kat nz.dia mmg puas hati la.d look on his face was priceless...hehhee....i know dat feeling.nikmat teh tarik..hmm..mmg best.talked bout so many things.aishah n sha felt like they already know hatta so well from all the stories i tell them.

so after breakfast,i dropped him off at pudu cos dia nak balik kuantan to see his family.i'm sure they all miss him very much.am hoping to see him again dis weekend.

then we headed off to work.mmg penat gile!n to my surprise,msians dont like to read.dat cant be good rite?mcm mane la nak maju??hmm...was so tiring.nasib baik arini keje around 2hrs je.balik rumah terus sakit2 blakang.had a good afternoon nap.tp badan stil sakit2.tomorow will be at bintang walk.

hmm...mane la pegi si aishah nie??woke up from my nap n she was gone.tak penat ke minah tu?maybe i'll giv her a call later...

ps. sayang,come home quick..everyone is coming home.u know how much i hate waiting..

temperature is rising!!

2006-06-09T14:53:00.000+01:00

supposed to go watch a movie with d guys tonite...but sumhow,when i got home ptg td,badan rasa lemah gile mcm baru lepas beranak.mane taknye,had to go to ikano time tengah hari buta.today was so bloody HOT!!what's up wit d weather lah!??!?dahla sampai2 sana,i thought we(me,sha,aishah n nana) were on time...turns out,we were too damm early.actually org yg nak briefing tu yg tak punctual.we had to wait for 2hrs!!gile penat tunggu.felt so restless.dahla i'm d type of person who hates waiting.today my patience has deffinately been tested.

anyways,masa on the way balik,stuck in a jam pulak..i hate kl!even with all d new roads still bole jam jugak...sape la yg vote sami vellu nie?!?!?my back was acheing..tp saba jela.denga lagu to relax.dats when i decided to ajak maz klua.dia pun cam malas2 but i managed to persuade him to go out.i even got khairil to come along.

tp tatau la nape sampai rumah je i felt so dead tired.rase guilty lak nak cancel.called khairil to call it off.he was pist.maz juz called...same thing.sorryla korang,i'm seriously tired.rain check k?.all i can do right now is juz lepak atas katil.dahla tomorow will be our first day of work.juz hope i can handle it.

nak tido nie..but do i hav to wait for aishah?hmm...seriously tak larat.

welcome to my new blog!!!

2006-06-09T03:21:00.000+01:00

ok..so i've decided to move my blog since it was such a nuisance to some ppl to be getting d stupid update from frenster...sorry..it was out of my control.as of today,this is offically my blog..

hehe...pretty excited with dis new one.i get to start a new.kinda like a virgin.first timer...hahahah..

woke up a lil early today.d 2 'beruks' are still asleep (sha n aisyah)...i've suddenly become a morning person since i dunno when.today we're gonna go for d briefing for our job...malasnye nak kene pegi pj..its so damm far..y do i always have to be the driver???takpela...janji duit masok.

anyways,yesterday aisyah highlighted her hair...doesnt look bad at all.she's been complaining bout it since.pening plak kepale...me n sha seems to think its ok.dunno la bout others.

went to ain giler no. 2's place yesterday while waiting for aisyah's hair.had a good laugh.dah la dia ngan dirah nak exam,bole lagi nak buat lawak2 bodo.juz hope they both do well for their papers.by tomorow,kite bole g carik tempat makan best2 k?

last nite i was suppose to go out with my mom...tapi bile denga dia nak g tgk play bangsawan,terus cancel...daripada tido kat show tu,baik aku tido kat rumah.i can juz imagine myself at d play.restless,sleepy,yawning non-stop..sorryla mummy..some other time k?
last2 ended up with wan g hartamas.atleast dats better than being stuck at some ridiculous play.

got a message from hatta malik dis morning....yeayy!!2more days!!cant wait no longer!!bapak mertuaku,lekas pulang ya!!julie malik amat merindui bapaknye!n i heard dat kiki might be coming back too...woohoo!!a double shot for me!i juz miss them so much.sorang je yg tak reti2 nak balik nie....sayangku nazar...bile u nak balik nie??i'm getting sick n tired of waiting la.

i think its about time for me to get up n take a shower.sha pun dah bangun terkebil kebil g toilet.wanna start my day early today.